HECTOR. We? Who is we, pray?
MRS HUSHABYE. The devil's granddaughters, dear. The lovely women.
HECTOR [raising his hands as before]. Fall, I say, and deliver us from
the lures of Satan!
ELLIE. There seems to be nothing real in the world except my father and
Shakespeare. Marcus's tigers are false; Mr Mangan's millions are false;
there is nothing really strong and true about Hesione but her beautiful
black hair; and Lady Utterword's is too pretty to be real. The one thing
that was left to me was the Captain's seventh degree of concentration;
and that turns out to be--
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER. Rum.
LADY UTTERWORD [placidly]. A good deal of my hair is quite genuine. The
Duchess of Dithering offered me fifty guineas for this [touching her
forehead] under the impression that it was a transformation; but it is
all natural except the color.
MANGAN [wildly]. Look here: I'm going to take off all my clothes [he
begins tearing off his coat].
LADY UTTERWORD. [in consternation] { Mr. Mangan!
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER { What's that?
HECTOR. { Ha! Ha! Do. Do.
ELLIE { Please don't.
MRS HUSHABYE [catching his arm and stopping him]. Alfred, for shame! Are
you mad?
MANGAN. Shame! What shame is there in this house? Let's all strip stark
naked. We may as well do the thing thoroughly when we're about it.
We've stripped ourselves morally naked: well, let us strip ourselves
physically naked as well, and see how we like it. I tell you I can't
bear this. I was brought up to be respectable. I don't mind the women
dyeing their hair and the men drinking: it's human nature. But it's not
human nature to tell everybody about it. Every time one of you opens
your mouth I go like this [he cowers as if to avoid a missile], afraid
of what will come next. How are we to have any self-respect if we don't
keep it up that we're better than we really are?
LADY UTTERWORD. I quite sympathize with you, Mr Mangan. I have been
through it all; and I know by experience that men and women are delicate
plants and must be cultivated under glass. Our family habit of throwing
stones in all directions and letting the air in is not only unbearably
rude, but positively dangerous. Still, there is no use catching physical
colds as well as moral ones; so please keep your clothes on.
MANGAN. I'll do as I like: not what you tell me. Am I a child or a grown
man? I won't stand this m
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