d burst into inconsolable sobbing for
longer than we have time to look in on.

The contest began and proceeded remarkably well, with only the loss
of a too-curious cow and a few luckless birds at the hands of the
less accomplished suitors. Sir Fassade shot well that day, achieving
a personal best. As each arrow hit, closer and closer toward the
middle of the target, it made the princess clap a little louder and
leap with joy a little higher. A smirk of self-congratulation soon
decorated Sir Fassade's handsome face.

A loud belch and a louder laugh announced the commencement of Sir
Bargle's shooting. As predicted by Sir Philo, Sir Bargle was an
excellent shot. As each arrow landed a good handbreadth closer to
the center of the target than any of those of Sir Fassade, the smiles
on the faces of the princess and her favorite knight grew less and
less until they had been completely replaced by somber looks on the
knight and what might be described as silent hysteria on the face of
the princess. The look on Sir Bargle's face at the conclusion of his
shooting is a little too carnal for me to describe.

As he shot his set of arrows, Sir Philo was forced more than once,
after he had fully drawn his bow, to pause, and to wait until a
little tremble--attributed by the crowd to nervousness and eagerness
to win Jennifrella--left his hands. As each arrow hit the target,
remarkably near the middle, it also pierced the very center of
Lucinda's heart. The young knight thought more than once about
letting an arrow fly wide of the target, but he did his duty,
though it brought grief to himself and devastation to the woman
he treasured.

Sir Philo's smile as he took the hand of the princess was obviously
forced, but no one noticed because Jennifrella was now bawling so
spectacularly that the crowd, though not at all wishing to be unkind,
found it, frankly, entertaining.

As it does for us all, time passed and life went on.

After a peculiar three years' delay, Lucinda finally made her choice
from among several good offers and moved with her new husband to a
remote part of the kingdom where it was reported that she was content,
though some said that the cooler climate had somewhat subdued her
well-known effervescence.

In the fullness of time, Sir Philo exchanged his sword for a crown
and ascended the throne. He ruled wisely and justly, and the kingdom
prospered. Hero that he was, he had mostly adjusted to the princess'