l out like water.
His servants got so tired of replacing the excess that they finally
just began to shovel it into the trash can after the king left. (Of
course, they probably helped themselves to a little bit of it, too.)

In his palaces, the king had so much fancy stuff that ancient
statues were used as door props in the stables, thousand-year-old
urns were used as spittoons in the kitchen, and scraps of precious
carpets were used to clean the servants' boots. The point is that
after all this additional acquisition, the king's lifestyle was much
fancier, but the king himself was still not happy.

"What his majesty needs is activity," said the king's culture
minister. "Activity is the rubbing paper that scours the rust from
the soul and burnishes her to a new shine. If the king would just
engage in some hobbies, he would find contentment." So the king
took up some hobbies: hunting, painting, dancing, building (more
mansions and castles), eating, woodworking, stamp collecting, riding
(in his golden carriage and on horseback), swimming (in his pool
full of pearls), and even knitting. In all he tried thousands or
perhaps hundreds of activities, each of them dozens of times.

He also held athletic contests, built amusement parks, and ransacked
the world for jugglers and magicians and singers and players and
storytellers (that's how I met him) and musicians. He ate too much,
drank too much, and danced and played and watched and traveled and
did too much and basically engaged in a constant frenzy of activity
from morning to night, from January to December, from the beginning
of the decade to its end. And the result was that he was amused for
awhile, but was mostly fat and tired and sometimes drunk and often
disoriented, but still not happy.

"Perhaps your majesty would be happy if he ruled the surrounding
lands and felt secure from attack," suggested the head of his army.
"For the proverb says, 'In security lies happiness.'" So his
majesty instructed his generals to go forth and conquer the
territories around him. After a preposterous quantity of noise,
smoke, blood, guts, and dying, the king found himself in possession
of jillions of acres of farms and towns and houses and cottages and
the souls of all those who lived therein. He now ruled over the
land as far as he--or even someone with good eyesight--could see in
every direction from the top of his highest tower. At any time of
day or night the king could