he thought, "What a sight she is."

Well, I've told you this story as evidence of the foolishness and
irrationality of the human heart. For now observe the consequent:

The first young lady, naturally concerned for her safety and
realizing that she possessed knowledge that her young man did not,
quite reasonably chose to change the tire. However, the young man,
fool that he was, was never seen escorting this capable and logical
young lady again.

The second young lady, very sensibly concerned about preserving an
expensive dress and realizing that she would be of little or no help
to her young man, showed a similar wisdom in avoiding what she knew
would be the consequences of leaving the car. But, even though her
judgment was vindicated when she observed, in the form of the
drenched, muddy, and bleeding young man, exactly those consequences
she had predicted, the young man himself, blind and irrational as he
was, was also never again seen escorting this thoughtful and
discerning young lady.

Even stranger and more perverse as it must seem, however, the third
young man, even after observing the silly and unreasonable behavior
of his date, even after seeing her soaked to the skin, her gown
ruined, her hair plastered against her neck, her mascara running
down her cheeks in little inky rivulets--even after observing all
this, not only was he seen escorting her frequently to other
entertainments, but eventually he offered her a ring.

The History of Professor De Laix

The world had long been promised a fifty-volume definitive analysis
on the meaning of life by the brilliant and internationally
respected Professor de Laix. Admirers from all across the surface
of the earth produced unremitting and enthusiastic requests--nay,
demands--for the wise professor to bestow upon the world his
penetrating insights into human nature. As the years passed,
however, even though he had been begged repeatedly for the first
part, or a first volume, or even a first chapter, he had always
answered that he wanted to get the whole work clearly in his head
before he put it down on paper.

"To rush precipitously forward without knowing precisely where one
wants to go," he would tell them, "will not of necessity produce a
happy outcome because it might lead to a complicative erroneity or
put one on a train to a destination he would not ultimately wish to
visit. After all, the most beautiful part of a given day is known
only aft