and
acquaintances, consider indispensable, such as pipes, tobacco, matches,
compressed victuals and drinks, maps, dictionaries, medicine-chests,
chocolate, purses, cheque-books, letter-pads, fountain-pens,
fountain-pen fillers, chronometers, electric-torches, charges for same,
unpaid bills, unanswered correspondence, sponges, ointments, mittens,
bed-socks, camera, boot-brushes, dubbin and spare parts. Obviously one
will eliminate (as you were about to write and suggest) the bills and
the correspondence, but those, Charles, are the only things that don't
occupy room. What else can one eliminate? The only thing is to reform
one's life and learn to be a pantechnicon; one may also, with a little
ingenuity, use one's clothes to serve a double purpose. I have only got
as far as evolving a scheme for tying up all the outlets of my breeches
and then filling them with air, so that one leg makes a bolster and the
other a pillow--two articles which, you will observe, were omitted from
the inventory.

By the way, our new officer was only gazetted on the very day he
travelled down with us. He started badly with a heavy reverse and
casualty list, for we played bridge on the way and he lost his first
day's pay, messing allowance and field allowance, all except twopence,
which goes (I believe) to income-tax. When we arrived at our billet we
found Pay in process. A private, who has a moment or so ago saluted and
withdrawn with his pay, seeks re-admission. "Colour-Sergeant!" he says.
"What is it?" "I think you have given me sixpence short." To which the
brutal Colours replies briefly, "'Op it." Later another private comes.
"Colour-Sergeant!" says he. "What is it now?" "I think you have given me
sixpence too much." "Come in, my lad, come in," replies the kindly
Colours.

We were lectured in map-reading and so forth this morning, and were told
that, all else failing, we might get our bearings from observing the
direction in which the local church pointed. But an active brain
suggested that these Germans had no doubt thought of that years and
years before and, in order to deceive us, had built their churches with
the east windows pointing west. When, the other day, the R.A.M.C. man
inspected the feet of the battalion, the same intelligent unit wished to
know who had got the first prize and whether for quality or quantity.

Yours, HENRY.

* * * * *

Illustration: _Mary Jane_ (_at climax of fearful