box_, and to pass judgment on _every ballot_ cast by seven millions
of Americans. He said they had all the powers of the Senate and House
of Representatives to examine into everything.

And then?

--Well, then, as he was playing euchre, he popped the "joker"
(himself) on the 'Crats' left bower, and voted the Commission had
no right to do anything of the sort. In the next game the "_joker_"
will be discarded.

How about the 'Crats, as you call them?

--Well, as they were only seven, and couldn't be in two places at
once, and vote fourteen, they threw up their hand.

Why, this was simply a farce?

--That's so; but it's very curious the people that were watching
the farce didn't see anything funny about it, or laugh. They were
quiet--very quiet. I think they had a notion the tragedy would
come later, and then they'd change the _cast_, and take a hand in
themselves, just to see how it would go.

Please, explain yourself?

--Well, during the farce, the Electoral Commission, Garfield being
one, were the actors, and the people were the spectators. During the
tragedy the people will be the actors, and Garfield, the Electoral
Commission, and the "machine" politicians will be the spectators--a
very _select_ audience. Admission free. The stage will be rather
large, about the size of the United States. Lots of room for the
audience. After the play there will be a procession to the White
House in Washington. The actors will invite their special friends
to it. I don't think Garfield, the Electoral Commission, or the
Republican "machine" engineers, will get cards of invitation. They
will, perhaps, be asked to a free lunch in Ohio.

Now for the application.

--Well, you must remember the American people are not born idiots.
They saw through the whole of this Electoral Commission business,
and they kept quiet. They were enraged, however, to think these
politicians could imagine them so dead daft. I think, too, at one
time they were within an ace of letting themselves out. If they had,
there would have been bad work!

They did better to wait.

--To be sure; but what kills one is to see these same wire-pullers
putting up a man like Garfield for President. Why, he's got the
rottenest record of the whole lot. You hear them say he's a
statesman. Yes, indeed! and I'm Sultan of Turkey. He's nothing
more than a common political hack, and an unsafe one at that.

How so?

--_His own party_ convicted him of bribe-taking, after