or sense i' one o' 'is legs nor in all thy braains.

Woae--theer's a craw to pluck wi' tha, Sam: yon's parson's 'ouse--
Dosn't thou knaw that a man mun be eaether a man or a mouse?
Time to think on it, then; for thou'll be twenty to weeaek.
Proputty, proputty--woae then, woae--let ma 'ear mysen speaek.

Me an' thy muther, Sammy, 'as beaen a-talkin' o' thee;
Thou's been talkin' to muther, an' she beaen a-tellin' it me.
Thou'll not marry for munny--thou's sweet upo' parson's lass--
Noae--thou'll marry for luvv--an' we boaeth of us thinks tha an ass.

Seeae'd her to-daaey goae by--Saaeint's-daaey--they was ringing the bells.
She's a beauty, thou thinks--an' soae is scoors o' gells.
Them as 'as munny an' all--wot's a beauty?--the flower as blaws.
But proputty, proputty sticks, an' proputty, proputty graws.

Do'ant be stunt: taaeke time: I knaws what maaekes tha sa mad.
Warn't I craaezed fur the lasses mysen when I wur a lad?
But I knaw'd a Quaaeker feller as often 'as towd ma this:
"Do'ant thou marry for munny, but goae wheer munny is!"

An' I went wheer munny war: an' thy mother coom to 'and,
Wi' lots o' munny laaid by, an' a nicetish hit o' land.
Maaeybe she warn't a beauty: I niver giv it a thowt--
But warn't she as good to cuddle an' kiss as a lass as 'ant nowt?

Parson's lass 'ant nowt, an' she weaent 'a nowt when 'e's deaed,
Mun be a guvness, lad, or summut, and addle her breaed:
Why? fur 'e's nobbut a curate, an' weaent niver git naw 'igher;
An' 'e's maaede the bed as 'e ligs on afoor 'e coom'd to the shire.

An' thin 'e coom'd to the parish wi' lots o' 'Varsity debt,
Stook to his taaeil they did, an' 'e 'ant got shut on 'em yet.
An' 'e ligs on 'is back i' the grip, wi noaen to lend 'im a shove,
Woorse nor a far-welter'd yowe: fur, Sammy, 'e married fur luvv.

Luvv? what's luvv? thou can luvv thy lass an' 'er munny too,
Maaekin' 'em goae togither, as they've good right to do.
Couldn't I luvv thy muther by cause o' 'er munny laaid by?
Naaey--for I luvv'd her a vast sight moor fur it: reaeson why.

Ay, an' thy muther says thou wants to marry the lass,
Cooms of a gentleman burn; an' we boaeth on us thinks tha an ass.
Woae then, proputty, wiltha?--an ass as near as mays nowt--
Woae then, wiltha? dangtha!--the bees is as fell as owt.

Breaek me a bit o' the esh for his 'eaed, lad, out o' the fence!
Gentleman burn! What's gentleman burn? Is it shillins an' pence?
Proputty, proputty's ivrything 'ere, an', Sammy,