f the proposal be written, it requires an immediate answer. Urgency
of response is determined by the importance to the sender.

The return of a letter unopened, even if the woman have good reason to
think that it contains a proposal which she must refuse, is extremely
rude, and should be done under no circumstances but flagrant breach of
confidence. If a letter is received by a woman from a man whom she has
refused and whose persistency she has sought to end, she may place the
letter in the hands of her parents, or guardians, or legal
representatives, to be acted on as they think best.

The manner of a proposal is the touchstone of character. No man and
woman, having passed through this experience together, can fail to
have obtained at least a glimpse of the depths or the shallows of each
other's character.

In a great majority of cases in America, at least, where access to the
young woman is gained through a thousand social channels, the real
declaration of love comes spontaneously, and is accepted or rejected
before there is opportunity even for the formal proposal. For by a
thousand half-unconscious signs does that state of mind reveal itself.
So it happens that when the opportunity offers to settle the matter,
there is little doubt in the mind of the lover and little hesitation
on the part of the woman. This is true in that society where really
well-bred and noble-minded women hold sway, for no woman of character
permits the man to be long in doubt of her withdrawal of herself, when
she sees he is attracted and yet knows that she cannot respond to his
advances.

The method of proposing is not a matter for a book on etiquette. It
concerns, along with all major matters of morals, those deeper things
of life, for which there is no instruction beyond the inculcation of
high ideals.

When the engagement is a fact and so acknowledged in the home, it is
not a wise or courteous thing for the engaged couple to monopolize
each other. Consideration on the part of the family would see to it
that they have some time to be alone together. Yet the lovers should
be as careful to keep their place in the social life of the home as if
there were no special attachment. For social exclusiveness shows an
absorption in each other which, if selfishly indulged, will bring its
own penalty. That a couple are engaged denotes expectation of a future
when they will be thrown largely upon each other's society; and,
because it is essential f