ites: "Opened my mouth in Darlington
meeting, on First-day afternoon. A mountain in prospect! The meetings
now became very interesting to me, and as the reward of what I was
induced to believe was faithfulness, often greatly refreshing."

In the course of this year, she lost her eldest son, a child of great
promise, and the suffering attendant upon this deep sorrow, in addition
to close mental baptism, at times greatly prostrated her physical powers.

11th Month 4th, 1820, we find the following-memorandum: "'Oh how great is
Thy goodness which Thou hast laid up for them that fear Thee, which Thou
hast wrought for them that trust in Thee before the sons of men.' In
looking back to the last two or three months, I feel I may adopt this
language: in them I have known the greatest portion of suffering that it
has yet been my lot to taste."

3rd Month, 1822. She writes, "In the afternoon meeting, a subject seemed
so clear before me, that I ventured to speak; but oh! the evil of my
heart, the consciousness of having, or supposing I had, chosen my words
well, was like the fly in the ointment of the apothecary, the baneful
effects of which, I felt many days after. The more I see of my own mind,
the more may the breathing of my soul be,--'If Thou wilt, Thou canst make
me clean.' Sometimes to believe that it is His will, is sweet to me, but
we must maintain the fight, for though the victory is His, the fall is
ours."

"The constant and deep consideration for others in the most minute
actions of life, how I love it, and feel myself 'as a bullock
unaccustomed to the yoke.'"

5th Month, 6th, 1822. "Days and nights of much spiritual conflict, or
rather perhaps the sight that there was much to conflict with; weak in
body and weak in mind! In my ministry more patient and deep deliberation
wanting. Last night, believed I had not kept close enough to my Guide in
prayer, with which I felt some distress,--perhaps not altogether
wrong,--but had not stopped when I ought, nor waited at every moment for
clearness and strength in the exercise; I hope I shall not hurt others."

6th Month, 1822. "A month is now passed in which I have been sweetly
enabled to enjoy the love of God in my heart. I trust we shall
experience preservation, though we may well fear for ourselves, and be
the subject of fear for others. Oh! that, without affectation, we may
live deeply in the root of life!"

4th Month, 1823. "I have much to bind me to this