arlington. The early years of her married life appear to have been much
devoted to her young family. For a time, her journal was entirely
suspended; but in 1815 she writes: "These last four years, are perhaps
best left in that situation, in which spiritual darkness has in a great
measure involved them; it may be the sweet and new objects of external
love, and necessary attention in which I have been engaged, have too much
drawn my mind from internal watchfulness, after the first flow of
spiritual joy began to subside; or it has been the will of the Author of
all blessing to change the dispensation, and taking from me the light of
his love, in which all beauty so easily and naturally exists, to teach me
indeed, that the glory of all good belongs to Him alone, and that He is
jealous of our decking ourselves with His jewels."

In 1820, she first spoke as a minister, in reference to which she writes:
3rd Month, 1820, "Had felt for some time, and particularly lately, a warm
concern for the interest of our family, which to my humiliation,
surprise, and consolation, I was strengthened to express to them in a
private opportunity, before I left Sunderland. On our ride home, I felt
the candle of the Lord shine round about me, in a manner I had not done
for years, accompanied with much tenderness and some foreboding fears. I
felt I had put my hand to the plough, and I must not turn back, but I
remembered the days that were past, and I knew something of the power of
Him in whom I had believed; though fear often compassed me about, and too
much imagination."

1820. "My heart has burned as an oven, internal and external
supplication has not been wanting to ease it; may I endure the burnings
as I ought." Speaking of attending the Yearly Meeting soon after, she
says: "I saw many dangerous enemies of my own heart near me, yet was
there mercifully preserved a germ of truth, in which met the hearts of
the faithful, and which was an encouragement to me; I afterwards spoke
twice in the Yearly Meeting, and the composure at the moment, and after a
time the peace that ensued, seemed to assure me that I had not run
without being sent. The remembrance of former days came strongly before
me, and in thus again publicly manifesting the intent of my heart, I felt
the comfort of being no stranger to that Hand, which, as it once fed me
with milk, seemed to me now after a long night season, feeding me with
meat."

After her return home, she wr