been the
means of greatly deepening her serious impressions, and of increasing the
desire to "relieve herself," as she expresses it, "from the miserable
state of inconsistency in which a gay Friend is situated." A short time
subsequent to this period, she writes:--

May, 1808. "With my father and mother I left the Grove this morning,
with a mind much softened, though not afflicted by parting with those I
love, earnestly wishing that what I was going to attend,--the Yearly
Meeting, might stamp more deeply the impressions I had received. We
reached Epping that night. I felt very serious; Love seemed to have
smitten me, and under that banner, I earnestly hoped that I might be
enabled to partake of whatever might be set before me in the banqueting
house. I saw that it would be right for me to say _thee_, and _thou_, to
everybody, and I begged that I might be so kept in love as to be enabled
to do it,--that love might draw me, not fear terrify me."

"How deeply I felt to enjoy First-day, and was strengthened at meeting.
For the first time, to-day I called the days of the week numerically, on
principle, it cost me at first a blush. This day has afforded me deeper
and sweeter feelings than any I have yet passed; surprise and ridicule I
have felt to be useful!"

"Left Bury Hill early: I can look back to the time I have spent here as
the happiest in my life; and I have earnestly wished that my example and
influence in future life, may be useful to those whom, never before my
mind was so altered, did I love with so sweet or so great an affection."

After alluding to some further change, she writes; "I felt increasingly
the weight of advocating the cause I have engaged in; oh! may no word or
action of mine, stain the character I am assuming, and may no
self-exaltation be the consequence: the mind, I feel, must be kept deep
indeed, to avoid the rocks that do every where surround."

6th Month, 1808. "Went to meeting--thought that by observing the
commandment, and confessing Christ before men, we should only be showing
the beautiful effect of obedience, in the fruit of the Spirit it
produces,--that it does not consist in speech, dress, or behaviour, but
that by being obedient in these and all things, to the law written in our
hearts; we should be overshadowed by that sweetness and quietness of
spirit, the fruits of which would prove whose government we are under."

7th Month, 1808, Cromer. "Walked on the shore, the sky