ou, if you could only suggest some
means whereby, consistently with my duty to society, I could
escape these inconvenient attentions, you would earn my
everlasting gratitude.

BUN. I will do so at once. However popular it may be with the
world at large, your personal appearance is highly objectionable
to me.

GROS. It is? [shaking his hand] Oh, thank you! thank you! How
can I express my gratitude?

BUN. By making a complete change at once. Your conversation
must henceforth be perfectly matter-of-fact. You must cut your
hair, and have a back parting. In appearance and costume you
must be absolutely commonplace.

GROS. [decidedly] No. Pardon me, that's impossible.

BUN. Take care! When I am thwarted I am very terrible.

GROS. I can't help that. I am a man with a mission. And that
mission must be fulfilled.

BUN. I don't think you quite appreciate the consequences of
thwarting me.

GROS. I don't care what they are.

BUN. Suppose -- I won't go so far as to say that I will do it --
but suppose for one moment I were to curse you? [GROSVENOR
quails.] Ah! Very well. Take care.

GROS. But surely you would never do that? [In great alarm]

BUN. I don't know. It would be an extreme measure, no doubt.
Still--

GROS. [wildly] But you would not do it -- I am sure you would
not. [Throwing himself at BUNTHORNE's knees, and clinging to him]
Oh, reflect, reflect! You had a mother once.

BUN. Never!

GROS. Then you had an aunt! [BUNTHORNE affected.] Ah! I see
you had! By the memory of that aunt, I implore you to pause ere
you resort to this last fearful expedient. Oh, Mr. Bunthorne,
reflect, reflect! [Weeping]

BUN. [aside, after a struggle with himself] I must not allow
myself to be unmanned! [aloud] It is useless. Consent at once,
or may a nephew's curse--

GROS. Hold! Are you absolutely resolved?

BUN. Absolutely.

GROS. Will nothing shake you?

BUN. Nothing. I am adamant.

GROS. Very good. [rising] Then I yield.

BUN. Ha! You swear it?

GROS. I do, cheerfully. I have long wished for a reasonable
pretext for such a change as you suggest. It has come at last.
I do it on compulsion!

BUN. Victory! I triumph!

No. 18. When I go out of door
(Duet)
Bunthorne and Grosvenor

[Each one