dances around the stage while the other is singing his
solo verses.]

BUNTHORNE When I go out of door,
Of damozels a score
(All sighing and burning,
And clinging and yearning)
Will follow me as before.

I shall, with cultured taste,
Distinguish gems from paste,
And "High diddle diddle"
Will rank as an idyll,
If I pronounce it chaste!

BOTH A most intense young man,
A soulful-eyed young man,
An ultra-poetical, super-aesthetical,
Out-of-the-way young man!

GROSVENOR Conceive me, if you can,
An ev'ryday young man:
A commonplace type,
With a stick and a pipe,
And a half-bred black-and-tan;
Who thinks suburban "hops"
More fun than "Monday Pops,"--
Who's fond of his dinner,
And doesn't get thinner
On bottled beer and chops.

BOTH A commonplace young man,
A matter-of-fact young man--
A steady and stolidy, jolly Bank-holiday,
Every-day young man!

BUNTHORNE A Japanese young man--
A blue-and-white young man--
Francesca di Rimini, miminy, piminy,
Je-ne-sais-quoi young man!

GROSVENOR A Chancery lane young man--
A Somerset House young man,--
A very delectable, highly respectable
Three-penny-bus young man!

BUNTHORNE A pallid and thin young man--
A haggard and lank young man,
A greenery-yallery, Grosvenor Gallery,
Foot-in-the-grave young man!

GROSVENOR A Sewell and Cross young man,
A Howell & James young man,
A pushing young particle -- "What's the next
article?"--
Waterloo House young man!

BUNTHORNE GROSVENOR

Conceive me, if you can, Conceive me, if you can,
A crotchety, cracked young man, A matter-of-fact youn