the plain truth I had no
objections to having him for an uncle by marriage.

"Therefore I did so, sir, and before the week was out I heard that
William Jones was plumbing in the most supprising manner, plumbing here
and plumbing there, and paying attentions vigorously, so to speak, to
Aunt Maggie every evening.

"In the meantime, sir, believe me, I did not lose time in my suit with
Bella Dougherty, who seemed real mad at William Jones when people began
to talk about his courting Aunt Maggie, so that in less than two weeks,
when Bella Dougherty heard that William Jones and Aunt Maggie had agreed
to marry, I got Bella Dougherty about as good as to say, although she
never quite said it square, that she would have me.

"I never knowed how it happened, sir, whether somebody waked William
Jones up or he just come to by himself, but, sir, anyhow, William Jones
about that time dropped hypner-tism and was himself again. Imagine, sir,
how things stood! There never was a man as mad as William Jones; mad
with me, and mad with Aunt Maggie, to whom he sent a cruel message that
he wa'n't marrying no grandmas, and that made Aunt Maggie mad; and then
William Jones sat down and wrote me a letter to the general effect that
whenever he met me my course in this life would be short.

"Naturally, sir, as you may believe, I kept out of William Jones's way,
for I am not fond of quarreling, and besides, William Jones is forty
pounds heavier, sir, than I am.

"But one night while I was setting in the kitchen at Muffitt's, having
some uplifting conversation with Bella Dougherty, there was a sudden
knock on the side door, and up she jumps, pale and skeered, and says:
'I do believe that is William Jones. He said he might call, maybe, this
evening!' So, of course, as I never hunt trouble, I raised the window
sash over by the kitchen table at the back and went out just as William
Jones come in the side door. He kept the door open a-watching for me,
and so as I couldn't get to the gate I climbed over the high fence into
the next yard.

"I ought to have gone right home, sir, without stopping, but I hated to
leave William Jones there with Bella Dougherty, and me just driven out;
so, as it was raining hard and I had on my Sunday suit, what does I
do but try the latch on the kitchen door of the house next to Mr.
Muffitt's, and finding the door opened, in I walked and set down in a
chair to await what was going to happen. That was a bad job for me, si