n't much."

"No. 'Tain't much for a Vanderbilt, but then, the Vans' ancestors put in
some lively hustling in days of yore, and the Vans of the present day
are now taking solid comfort and shooting folly as it flies out of the
result of the old Commodore's hustling on land and water. An' now let me
ask you, have you got the dough to go on with this great scheme of
yours?"

"Well, no, I haven't got the dough, as you call it, but I have the
tickets, and the committee propose to sell them to their numerous
friends. I tell you 'tis a dead-sure thing."

"I notice in your expenses you allow nothing for your company."

"The company have all volunteered. Most of them are amateurs."

"And where does your humble servant come in?"

"Why, I propose to make it all right with you out of my share."

"Ye gods on high Olympus, look down on us in compassion and smile!"
spoke Handy in the most tragic voice of which he was capable of
employing. "Has it come to pass that a verdant experimentalist like you,
Fogg, could intimate to a veteran of my standing that I should take my
chances of remuneration from the proceeds of such a quixotic scheme? Go
to, Fogg! I love thee, but never more be officer of mine." Then laying
aside his serio-comic manner and assuming one that more easily
appertained to him, he continued: "Fogg, old pal, I told you that you
could count on me to help you out, and you can. I will manage the stage,
but skip me on the acting. If the stuff comes in, I know you'll do the
square thing. If the receipts are shy, well and good. You'll get left as
well as I. Get the old girls to sell all the tickets they
can--beforehand. Mind now, beforehand. Depend on nothing from the public
for a benefit, and as for the night sale, it won't amount to a paper of
pins. I've been there before, old man, and I know of what I speak. Let
me tell you--some friends of mine once upon a time got up a benefit for
a widow. They gave a good show, had lots of fun, but----"

"But what?" inquired Fogg anxiously.

"Oh, nothing! Only they landed the poor woman fifty dollars or so in
debt. That's all."

"Holy Moses!" was all the response that Fogg could make; but he
evidently was doing a great deal of thinking. In this state of mind
Handy left him.

CHAPTER XIV

"Nature hath fram'd strange fellows in her time."
--MERCHANT OF VENICE.

Within two weeks the preliminaries for the testimonial were arranged,
the night appointed, and th