are benefits, and
that the theatre-going public take little or no stock in them. Unless
you can rely on your friends coming up to the scratch--pardon me, I mean
box office--and before the night of the show, mind you--you stand a good
chance of getting it, as the poet touchingly tells us--I don't know what
poet--where the chicken got the axe. Them's my sentiments!"

Handy's review of the situation and his matter-of-fact way of placing it
before the committee caused some agitation. At length Mrs. Doolittle
arose.

"Let me assure you, Mr. Handy, we have hosts of friends, and when they
see our names on the programme they will be sure to come. Don't you
agree with me, ladies?"

"It would be real mean if they didn't," volunteered the heavyweight lady
of the committee. "But I know they will."

"Of course, ladies, you know best," replied Handy, "but my advice is
sell all the pasteboards you can before the show, and don't depend any
on the public the night of the show, when you intend to pull 'The Lady'
off."

Handy's practical admonitions and advice evidently were not appreciated
in the spirit in which they were tendered. The ladies' stay after the
episode was not prolonged. Mrs. Chairman Doolittle remembered she had an
engagement in the shape of a pink tea, and must speed homeward to make a
change of dress. The remainder of the committee considered that as their
cue for departure, not, however, without reassuring both Messrs. Fogg
and Handy that everything would be all right.

Handy and Fogg were once more alone.

"Well," said Fogg, "what do you think of it? A great scheme, eh?"

"What's a great scheme? I pause for a reply!"

"Why, the testimonial benefit, of course!"

"Say, Fogg. Are you right in your head? Is your nut screwed on properly?
Is this a joke? The ladies are all serene and mean well--but darn it,
man! you don't mean to tell me that you believe there's five hundred in
this snap?"

"Why, certainly I do, and more."

"Cents."

"No. Please be serious. Dollars."

"Well, let us get down to cases and figure it out. What'll be your
expenses?"

"Oh, 'way down. There's $75 for the house, dirt cheap--the ladies have a
pull with the landlord; $65 for the orchestra; stage hands, $15;
advertising and printing, $60; flowers, $20; costumes, $11.75; sundries,
$10. How much is all that?"

"Let me figure it up. Have you a pencil? Never mind, I have one. Well,
that, my friend, foots up $256.75."

"Why, that ai