to be found than in these "Fragments." It ranks as a colossal German
defeat that successive bloodthirsty assaults upon us by land, sea, and
air should produce a Bairnsfather, depicting the "contemptible little
Army," swollen out of all recognition, settling humorously down to war
as though it were the normal business of life.

"Fed up"? Yes, that is the word by which to describe, if you like, the
prevalent Bairnsfather expression of countenance. But the kind of
weariness he depicts is the reverse of the kind that implies "give up."
_Au contraire, mes amis!_ The "fed-up" Bairnsfather man is a fixture.
"_J'y suis_," he might exclaim, if he spoke French, "_et il m'embete que
j'y suis. Je voudrais que je n'y sois pas. Mais j'y suis, et, mes bons
camarades, par tous les dieux, j'y reste!_"

If the enemy should read in the words "fed up" a sign that our tenacity
is giving out, he reads it wrong; grim will be the disillusionment of
any hopes he may build upon his misreading, and even grimmer the anger
of those whom he may have deluded.

These _verdammte Englaender_ are never what they seem, but are always
something unpleasantly different. We are the Great Enigma of the war,
and in our mystery lies our greatest strength. Let us be careful not to
lose it. Those who would have us simplify ourselves upon the continental
model, and present to the world a picture of sombre seriousness, are
asking us to change our national character. Cromwell asked the painter
to paint him, "warts and all." Bairnsfather sketches us--smiles and all.
And who would take the smiles off the "dials" of the figures you will
see on the pages that follow?

[Illustration: Where to Live--[ADVT.]

IN ONE OF THE CHOICEST LOCALITIES OF NORTHERN FRANCE.

TO BE LET (three minutes from German trenches), this attractive and

WELL-BUILT DUG-OUT,

containing one reception-kitchen-bedroom and UP-TO-DATE FUNK HOLE (4ft.
by 6ft.), all modern inconveniences, including gas and water. This
desirable Residence stands one foot above water level, commanding an
excellent view of the enemy trenches.

EXCELLENT SHOOTING (SNIPE AND DUCK).

--Particulars of the late Tenant, Room 6, Base Hospital, Bonlog c.]

[Illustration: "Where did that one go to?"]

[Illustration:

What is this slimy dismal hole
Where oft I'm lurking like a mole
And cursing Germans heart and soul?
My Dug-Out