s shrapnel helmets by practising his
celebrated plate and basin spinning act.]
[Illustration: Those ---- Mouth-Organs.
"Keep away from the 'ive, Bert; 'e's goin' to sting yer!"]
[Illustration: Garcong! the bill, tres vite!
That Provost-Marshal Feeling.
A sensation only to be had at a Base--in other words, a base
sensation.]
[Illustration: Blighty!]
[Illustration: Those Raiders at the Seat of War.
"I wish the 'ell you'd put a cork on that blinkin' pin of yours,
Bert!"]
[Illustration: Romance, 1917.
"Darling, every potato that I have is yours" (engaged).]
[Illustration: Modern Topography.
"Well, you see, here's the church and there's the post-office."]
[Illustration: "There Was a Young Man of Cologne."
(I've forgotten the rest of the poem, but it's something about "a bomb"
and "If only he'd known.")]
[Illustration: In the Support Trench.
Old Bill has practically decided to get Private Shinio (the
ex-comedy-juggler and hand-balancer) transferred to another platoon.]
[Illustration: It's the Little Things that Worry.
What is so particularly annoying to Private Lovebird is, that he would
not have had this bother with his dug-out if his leave had not been
postponed.]
[Illustration: That Periscope Sensation.
"I wonder if I oughtn't to tell the captain about that thing sticking up
in the sea over there."]
[Illustration: At the Brewery Baths.
"You chuck another sardine at me, my lad, and you'll hear from my
solicitors."]
[Illustration: A Miner Success.
"They must 'ave 'ad some good news or somethin', Alf; you can 'ear 'em
cheerin' quite plain."]
[Illustration: Birds of Ill Omen.
"There's evidently goin' to be an offensive around 'ere, Bert."]
[Illustration: If Only They'd Make "Old Bill" President of Those
Tribunals.
"Well, what's your job, me lad?"
"Making spots for rocking-horses, sir."
"Three months."
"Exemption, sir?"
"Nao, exemption be ----d! Three months' hard!"]
[Illustration: "Stars is funny things aint they Bill"
"Yes--funny!"
The Stargazers.
--and their return to earth.]
[Illustration: Down at the Ration Dump.
"Call me a Tank again, my lad, and I'll knock yer ---- 'ead off!"]
[Illustration: The Glorious Fifth.
"'Ere, Guy Fawkes--buzz off!"]
[Illustration: "Yes, you are, one pound nineteen and elevenpence
overdrawn, and that includes next month's pay"
Cox's.
When one feels rather in
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