in a bitter way:
The egg, that once was twopence-half,
Is fivepence net to-day.

It needed but this final woe
To fill the wretched cup,
That Hecuba, the hen, should go
And put _her_ prices up.

This Hecuba, her pride is such
She'll only do her job
For pay in francs; she will not touch
The honest British bob.

Thus I, who have not got the dash
To borrow, steal or beg,
Have first of all to buy the cash
Wherewith to buy the egg.

And when I go to buy some francs
To see the matter through
I find that hereabouts the banks
Have raised their prices too....

The farm is Swiss; but then, suppose
You place yourself by chance
Upon the southern edge, your nose
Is trespassing in France.

'Tis here that Hecuba, the hen,
In solitude sublime
Does business every now and then
At half-a-franc a time.

Then ought she not (of course she ought)
To pause and shift her ground,
And lay my egg where francs are bought
At fifty to the pound?

HENRY.

* * * * *

From a music-hall advertisement:--

"IMPORTANT NOTICE!
OWING TO THE
ENORMITY OF THIS PRODUCTION,
FIRST HOUSE COMMENCES ... 6.15."

_Provincial Paper._

The licensing authority seems to have been caught napping.

* * * * *

"The interesting announcement is made that Finchale Priory has
been handed over to the care of the Society for the Prevention
of Ancient Monuments."--_Provincial Paper._

It is suggested that some of the London statues might profitably be
handed over to the same body.

* * * * *

THE PERFECT SCULLERY.

I was more than interested in the article "About Bathrooms" which
appeared in the columns of _Punch_ of March 31st last, because I
too always smoke a pipe in a hot bath, to which I add the habit of
reading, not books--they are too sacred to risk--but newspapers. I
also frequently indulge in a further luxury at this time, a cup of
coffee, which rests on the sponge and soap bridge between sips.
Of course the soap sometimes falls into the coffee, and if this is
undetected in time a slight frothing at the mouth occurs, but no
really serious harm ensues.

I tried the effect of pictures round the bath--pictures with a shiver
in them that made me pull the water up closer round my neck. But I
found that they were being ruined by the ste