e town," he said, "about that
duel of ours. Those fairies of yours are all agog to know what it was
about. I am sure they all think that there was a lady in the case. Just
like the vanity of the sex. If two men have a quarrel, they think it
must be because of their silly faces."

Ordinarily the Major's gallantry would have resented this view, but the
reconciliation with Puffin was too recent to risk just at present.

"Poor little devils," he said. "It makes an excitement for them. I
wonder who they think it is. It would puzzle me to name a woman in
Tilling worth catching an early train for."

"There are several who'd be surprised to hear you say that, Major," said
Puffin archly.

"Well, well," said the other, strutting and swelling, and walking
without a sign of lameness....

They had come to where their houses stood opposite each other on the
steep cobbled street, fronted at its top end by Miss Mapp's garden-room.
She happened to be standing in the window, and the Major made a great
flourish of his cap, and laid his hand on his heart.

"And there's one of them," said Puffin, as Miss Mapp acknowledged these
florid salutations with a wave of her hand, and tripped away from the
window.

"Poking your fun at me," said the Major. "Perhaps she was the cause of
our quarrel, hey? Well, I'll step across, shall I, about half-past nine,
and bring my diaries with me?"

"I'll expect you. You'll find me at my Roman roads."

The humour of this joke never staled, and they parted with hoots and
guffaws of laughter.

It must not be supposed that duelling, puzzles over the portmanteau, or
the machinations of Susan had put out of Miss Mapp's head her amiable
interest in the hour at which Major Benjy went to bed. For some time she
had been content to believe, on direct information from him, that he
went to bed early and worked at his diaries on alternate evenings, but
maturer consideration had led her to wonder whether he was being quite
as truthful as a gallant soldier should be. For though (on alternate
evenings) his house would be quite dark by half-past nine, it was not
for twelve hours or more afterwards that he could be heard qui-hi-ing
for his breakfast, and unless he was in some incipient stage of
sleeping-sickness, such hours provided more than ample slumber for a
growing child, and might be considered excessive for a middle-aged man.
She had a mass of evidence to show that on the other set of alternate
nights his diar