on her evident
enjoyment of herself made itself felt, and her eccentricities, though
carefully observed and noted by Miss Mapp, were not succeeded by
silences and hurried bursts of conversation.

"And is your ladyship making a long stay in Tilling?" asked the (real)
Major, to cover the pause which had been caused by Mr. Wyse saying
something across the table to Isabel.

She dropped her eye-glass with quite a splash into her gravy, pulled it
out again by the string as if landing a fish and sucked it.

"That depends on you gentlemen," she said with greater audacity than was
usual in Tilling. "If you and Major Puffin and that sweet little Scotch
clergyman all fall in love with me, and fight duels about me, I will
stop for ever...."

The Major recovered himself before anybody else.

"Your ladyship may take that for granted," he said gallantly, and a
perfect hubbub of conversation rose to cover this awful topic.

She laid her hand on his arm.

"You must not call me ladyship, Captain Flint," she said. "Only servants
say that. Contessa, if you like. And you must blow away this fog for me.
I have seen nothing but bales of cotton-wool out of the window. Tell me
this, too: why are those ladies dressed alike? Are they sisters? Mrs.
Mapp, the little round one, and her sister, the big round one?"

The Major cast an apprehensive eye on Miss Mapp seated just opposite,
whose acuteness of hearing was one of the terrors of Tilling.... His
apprehensions were perfectly well founded, and Miss Mapp hated and
despised the Contessa from that hour.

"No, not sisters," said he, "and your la--you've made a little error
about the names. The one opposite is Miss Mapp, the other Mrs.
Plaistow."

The Contessa moderated her voice.

"I see; she looks vexed, your Miss Mapp. I think she must have heard,
and I will be very nice to her afterwards. Why does not one of you
gentlemen marry her? I see I shall have to arrange that. The sweet
little Scotch clergyman now; little men like big wives. Ah! Married
already is he to the mouse? Then it must be you, Captain Flint. We must
have more marriages in Tilling."

Miss Mapp could not help glancing at the Contessa, as she made this
remarkable observation. It must be the cue, she thought, for the
announcement of that which she had known so long.... In the space of a
wink the clever Contessa saw that she had her attention, and spoke
rather loudly to the Major.

"I have lost my heart to your Miss Ma