had solved everything now, and gave herself up to a rapturous
consideration of what use she would make of the precious solution. All
regrets for the impossibility of ruining the character of Captain Puffin
with regard to intoxicants were gone, for she had an even deadlier
blacking to hand. No faintest hesitation at ruining the reputation of
Major Benjy as well crossed her mind; she gloried in it, for he had not
only caused her to deceive herself about the early hours on alternate
nights, but by his infamous willingness to back up Captain Puffin's
bargain, he had shown himself imperviously waterproof to all chivalrous
impulses. For weeks now the sorry pair of them had enjoyed the spurious
splendours of being men of blood and valour, when all the time they had
put themselves to all sorts of inconvenience in catching early trains
and packing bags by candle-light in order to escape the hot impulses of
quarrel that, as she saw now, were probably derived from drained
whisky-bottles. That mysterious holloaing about worm-casts was just such
another disagreement. And, crowning rapture of all, her own position as
cause of the projected duel was quite unassailed. Owing to her silence
about drink, no one would suspect a mere drunken brawl: she would still
figure as heroine, though the heroes were terribly dismantled. To be
sure, it would have been better if their ardour about her had been such
that one of them, at the least, had been prepared to face the ordeal,
that they had not both preferred flight, but even without that she had
much to be thankful for. "It will serve them both," said Miss Mapp
(interrupted by a sneeze, for she had been sitting up in bed for quite a
considerable time), "right."

To one of Miss Mapp's experience, the first step of her new and
delightful strategic campaign was obvious, and she spent hardly any time
at all in the window of her garden-room after breakfast next morning,
but set out with her shopping-basket at an unusually early hour. She
shuddered as she passed between the front doors of her miscreant
neighbours, for the chill of last night's mist and its dreadful memories
still lingered there, but her present errand warmed her soul even as the
tepid November day comforted her body. No sign of life was at present
evident in those bibulous abodes, no qui-his had indicated breakfast,
and she put her utmost irony into the reflection that the United
Services slept late after their protracted industry la