ng awfully fond of her.' In the evening, after his wife had
retired, he sat up with his mother-in-law and took a hand at piquet. At
the end of the week the mamma-in-law had vanished as if by magic. The
young and neglected wife had managed the affair.

But for a woman to get rid of her mother-in-law I am afraid I have no
advice to offer, not even that offered by the greatest French
dramatist, Victorien Sardou, who says in that delightful play
'Seraphine': 'If ever you have to choose between living with your
mother-in-law or shooting yourself, do not hesitate a single
moment--shoot her.'

CHAPTER XXXVIII

ON WIDOWS

Women do have grievances--Various specimens of widows--The jolly
widow--The inconsolate widow--The plump widow--Marriageable
widows--Mourning and black--Last wills and testaments--How long
should a widow mourn her husband?--'You should have seen me
yesterday!'

Mothers-in-law are for ever a target for men's sarcasms. Stepmothers
are supposed to be the embodiment of everything that is mean. On the
other hand, I have never heard fathers-in-law turned into ridicule, and
stepfathers are invariably painted by novelists as unselfish, devoted
men who come to the rescue of widows, and help them to bring up their
children in comfort and happiness.

Poor women do have grievances, and no mistake!

And the widows--oh, the widows! Now, what have they done that they
should be the butts for the jokes that are made at their expense? Why
should they provoke the sarcasms and excite the scorn of men instead of
their pity or, at all events, their kind sympathy?

If a widow's grief is great and she wears the deepest mourning, she is
called an 'inconsolable, desolate widow,' and people smile, saying with
a sneer: 'She will soon be cured.' If she bears up bravely and well,
she is called a 'jolly widow,' and people say: 'She is already better.'
If she remains amiable and attractive, she is immediately baptized a
'wily widow,' and if her good constitution is such that even her
sorrows and worries do not make her get thin, but the contrary, she is
called a 'plump widow,' and people wink. And all the time the widower
escapes scot-free. Men respect his sadness, are prepared to write odes
about him if he remain faithful to the memory of his wife, and send him
hearty congratulations if he remarry. Never a smile; no sarcasm, no
scorn!

What awful cowards men are! And what surpasses me is that, as a ru