e time to look
about me, and inquire, for present, practical purposes, what I was and
where I was going.

But, at the very outset of this laudable occupation, a disagreeable fact
thrust itself impudently in my face, and even shook its fist at me in
insolent defiance. There was no getting over it--I was undeniably a
_woman_--and, what was worse, rather a womanly woman. I am aware, of
course, that this depends. If you should ask that stately lily, radiant
with beauty, from the crown of the head to the sole of her foot,
surrounded by her kind, and cherished and admired as one of the choicest
gems of the garden, whether she considered it an agreeable thing to be a
flower, she would probably toss her head in scorn, as youthful beauties
do, at the very question. But ask the poor roadside blossom, trampled
on, switched off, and subjected to every trial that is visited on
strength and roughness, without the strength and roughness to protect
her, and there is very little doubt that she would express a desire to
wake up, some morning, and find herself transformed into a prickly pear.
Womanhood, under some circumstances, is very much like sitting partly on
one chair, and partly on another, without being secure on either.

It is an unnatural combination to have the propensities of a Columbus or
Robinson Crusoe united with a habit of trembling at stray dogs in the
daytime, and covering one's head with the bedclothes at night. I had
longed to be afloat for some time past; but now, that I was fairly out
of sight of land, I shuddered at the immensity of the fathomless sea
that stretched before me. Whither bound? To the 'Peppersville Academy,'
in a town on the border of a lake familiar to me in my geography days at
school, but which seemed, practically, to have no more connection with
New York than if it had been in Kamtchatka. To this temple of learning I
was going as assistant teacher; and the daring nature of the undertaking
suddenly flashed upon me. Suppose that, when weighed in the examining
balances, I should be found wanting? Suppose that some horridly sharp
boy should 'stump' me with 'Davies' Arithmetic?'

That was my weak point, and I realized it acutely. Figures never would
arrange themselves in my brain in proper order; I am by no means sound
even on the multiplication table; and the only dates that ever fixed
themselves in my memory are 1492 and 1776. The very sight of a slate and
pencil gave me a nervous headache, and as