tin isn't till to morn at
neet.'

'Aw tell thi it's to neet, an' it's time tha wor thear nah. Aw promised
tha should be i' time an' tha'll ha to goa.'

'Aw tell th' meetin isn't wol Thursday!'

'Well, this is Thursday.'

'Tha'rt drunk, Alick; tha doesn't know what tha'rt talking abaat.'

Alick wor just drunk enuff to have his own rooad, an' wodn't listen to
reason, soa he says, 'Awl let thi see who it is 'at's druffen! Awl
awther ha thee made a deacon or a deead en afoor tha gooas to bed to
neet!' an' sayin soa, he seized hold on him, an' tuckin him under his
arm as if he'd been a umbereller he started off aght o' door. Tommy
begged an' prayed, an' kicked an' fittered, but all to noa use. Alick
wor three times as big as him, an' held him like a vice.

Just as they'd getten into th' street they met all th' miln fowk, an' as
they wor booath weel known, fowk laffed rarely, for they thowt it a
gooid spree. Th' rooads wor varry mucky an' sloppy, an' as Alick worn't
varry steady on his pins they hadn't gooan far befoor they wor booath
rollin i'th' sludge, but Alick niver left goa; he scramel'd up, an' off
agean, an' wor varry sooin at th' chapel door. Th' only consolation 'at
poor Tommy had wor thinkin 'at th' chapel wodn't be oppen, an' then
Alick wod find aght his mistak; but it unfortunately happened' at ther
wor a meetin that neet i'th vestry abaat establishing a Band o' Hope,
soa th' chapel doors wor oppen. Alick rushed in wi' poor Tommy, moor
deead nor alive. Th' noise they made sooin browt all th' fowk aght o'th'
vestry, an' th' parson coom fussin to see what wor to do, an' as ther
wor nobbut one or two leets i'th' chapel bottom, an' nooan up stairs, he
could hardly see what it all meant. Just then Alick let goa, an' Tommy
flew up stairs like a shot, hooapin 'at as it wor ommost dark he'd be
able to find his way aghtside befoor he wor seen.

Alick luk'd varry solid an' tried to balance hissen by holdin to one
o'th' gas fixtures.

'What's the meaning of this?' sed th' parson.

'Please yor reverence, hic,--aw've browt yo th' new deacon, hic,--an' a
d---l ov a job aw've had to mak him come, but awm a man o' mi word, an'
aw promised he should bi here i' time, an' aw'd ha browt him if aw'd had
to being him in his coffin. That's th' sooart ov chap aw am old cock!'

Bi this time all th' fowk wor gethered raand, an' th' parson luk'd throo
one to another, to see if they could explain matters, but they wor all
fast a