wor lost, for all th' singers struck up, an' Dick an' Seth set
daan o' th' edge ov a big drum 'at ther wor in th' nook. In a bit Seth
axed th' chap 'at set next to him what they wor singin.

'It's Mozart's Twelfth Mass,' he sed.

'Why, what dooant they turn him aght for?'

'Turn who aght?' sed th' chap lukkin raand.

'Why, Mose Hart. If he worked at awr shop he'd be secked for one mess,
niver tawk abaat twelve.'

'Whisht!' sed th' chap, an' gave Seth a drive wi' his elbow just between
his brace buttons, an' Seth went daan wi' a soss onto th' drum end, an'
throo it he went wi' a crack as laad as a pistol gooin off.

'Thear, tha's done it,' sed Dick; 'Tha's letten all th' mewsic aght o'
that, onyway; they owt to ha made a drum major o' thee.'

'It's noa fawt o' mine,' he sed, as he tried to scramel aght. 'Let me
catch hold o' that chap' at knocked th' wind aght o' me, an' if aw
dooant drum him it'll be becoss aw connot.'

When he gate to his feet he luk'd raand, but th' chap had mizel'd, but
all th' singers wor standin raand laffin fit to split.

'Are yo laffin becoss mi britches knees is brussen or becose th' drum
end's brussen, aw'd like to know?'

'What's th' matter wi' thi? tha'rt as mad as if tha'd swoller'd th' drum
asteead o'th' drum swollerin thee; tha mud ha getten thi bally brussen,'
sed Dick.

'It's very plain to me that there will be no more harmony here this
ev'ning,' sed th' little man 'at wor shakkin th' stick, 'and so I shall
leave you, an' I hope those who have tickets to dispose of, will in
future give them to persons who can appreciate music.'

'Aw'll mak thee sick for two pins,' sed Seth, 'if tha says owt agean me,
aw'll sing thee for glasses raand ony day.'

The conductor sed no more but went home.

'Who is yond leckterin fooil?' sed Seth, to a chap 'at stood near.

'That's th' conductor.'

'Corn doctor, is he? Why, what does he want at a singing doo? Connot yo
cut yor own corns?'

'Tha doesn't understand, he's th' leeader.'

'Well, if he's th' leeader, what dooant yo follow him for? But nah luk
here! aw'll tell yo what aw'll do. Aw've been th' cause o' braikin up
yor spree, soa suppoas yo all stop an' have a bit ov a doo wi' me; aw've
getten a shillin or two an' we'll send for some ale an' mak a reglar
free-an-easy on it.'

'Hear! hear!' sed one.

'Ov course we'll have it here, whear else does ta want it!' Soa they all
agreed to sit daan, and Seth sent for two gallon o' ale a