went daan ith cellar an cut'
em all their heeads off, an detarmined to cook 'em all three an invite
th' wimmen to ther drinkin', an see if aw couldn't mak things pleasant
ageean. Aw saw a nay bar hingin' up some clooas, soa aw tell'd her what
aw intended to do, an awd noa need to mention it to onnybody else, for
th' news hed flown to ivvery haase i' less nor five minnits.

Dorothy browt me mi clooas back o' Tuesdy, an they luk'd ommost as
gooid as new, an aw invited' em all to ther drinkin' for Fridy neet, an
then aw went an bowt two pot dogs an a stag for Sam's dowter, an aw wor
luk'd on as th' king oth fold. It wor a varry little haase for abaat
twenty fowk, but aw cleared all aght, an put tables ith middle an cheers
raand th' sides, an contrived raam for 'em all. Aw dooant think yo ivver
hed onny experience i' cookin' for yorsen, nivver name cookin' for other
fowk, but aw considered misen a varry gooid hand, an aw can assure yo
when aw stewed them hens an rooasted th' cock, an boiled some puttates,
an made a pile o' tooast, an some strong teah flavored wi rum, 'at it
wor a set aght net to be despised.

All wor ready an promised for a success, an aw could see th' wimmen
bobbin' aght o' one door into another wi ther new caps on, an aw saw bi
th' clock 'at it nobbut wanted a quarter ov an haar befoor they'd be all
thear, sea aw tuk a can an went to th' pump for some clean watter, so as
we could keep th' kettle filled up, an aw left th' door oppen. Aw wornt
aboon a minnit away, but as aw wor comin' back, what should aw see but
that tom-cat o' Dorothy's comin' aght oth door wi abaat hawf a hen in
his maath. Away it ran hooam an me after it; net 'at aw cared soa mich
abaat th' loss oth mait, for aw knew we should hey enuff, but aw wor mad
to think 'at after all mi trouble to cook it aw should be served i' sich
a way.

Dorothy wor upstairs, an away it went to her, but aw didn't foller, for
awd net forgetten th' bother awd been in at Sam's; but wimmen's all
alike, they can nivver keep ther maath shut, an noa sooiner did shoo see
it nor shoo set up a screeam an, ov coarse, that wor th' signal for
ivvery woman ith fold to fly aght, for they wor all set waitin' for th'
time for ther drinkin'. 'Ger aght wi thee! Tha nasty thief!' shoo sed,
an aw could hear her chasin' it raand an raand, singin' aght, 'Ha can ta
fashion, tha nasty gooid-fer-nowt? Awl hey thee hung for it befoor
tha'rt a day older!' Daanstairs it coom ageean, an