lathe, an' in a
bit one o'th' neighbors saw him gaping at tother side o'th' street an'
went up to ax him what he wor starin at?

"It'll tinkle tip in a bit," sed Billy an' in a bit it did 'tinkle up,'
for he'd set th' haymoo o' fire, an' in abaght an haar, booath th' lathe
an' all 'at wor in it wor burned to th' graand. "Aw tell'd her aw'd do
it," he sed, "an' aw'm nooan to be licked when aw start."

Th' poor owd woman wor sadly troubled, but what could shoo do, for what
could ony body expect throo Silly Billy?

Shoo used to have some queer ways did Nancy; an' one system o' her's wor
allus to do iverything like clock wark. When Billy wor having one ov his
bits o' sprees, an' stoped away for two or three days, shoo allus made
him his porrige ivery marnin, an' if he worn't thear to ait 'em shoo
put' em i'th' cupbord, all in a row, an' when he did come, he could'nt
get a bite o' owt else till he'd finished' em all, soa he used to start
at th' oldest furst, an' as th' owd woman kept on makkin moor ivery
mornin, it wor noa easy job to ovettak 'em, an' be able to sit daan to a
warm meal. But like monny a one beside, altho' he wor soa mich put
abaght, it did'nt cure him; but when he'd had a doo, an' been two or
three days at cold poltices; as he call'd em, he used to say, "Niver noa
moor! If aw once get ovver this, yo'll niver catch me at that bat agean!
It's towt me a lesson 'as this." An' noa daat it had, but he varry sooin
forgate it.

Ov coarse, when th' brass wor all done, he had to work a bit, an' aw
recollect when he started business ov his own hook, fowk used to plague
him sadly, an' weel they mud, for he gate a donkey an panniers an'
started to sell puttates an' greehs; but it soa happened, 'at one mornin
he'd nobbut as monny puttates as ud fill one pannier, an' as he put' em
i' one it made it side heavy, soa he gate a lot o' big stooans an' put
'em i'th' tother to balance it a bit, an' then he started off. But he
hadn't gooan far when a chap met him an' sed, "what are ta sellin,
Billy?" "Aw'm hawkin puttates," he sed. "Why, what's all thease stooans
for, has ta started o' leeadin balder?" "Noa," he sed, (an' then gave
him a sly wink as mich as to say aw'l let thee into a secret), "but does
ta see, aw'd nobbut as mich brass as ud buy one pannier full, soa aw wor
foorced to put stooans it th' tother to mak it balance." "Why,
lumphead!" sed th' chap, "couldn't ta put one hauf into one, an' tother
into tother?" Billy