able to keep aght ov a mess or net, an' as he knew his hont wor a varry
particlar body, he detarmined to do his varry best. When he gate to th'
door he saw' at shoo'd nobbut just scarr'd th' steps, an' he luk'd at
his feet an' thowt it wod be a pity to put sich mucky booits on to sich
nice wark, soa he went raand to th' back yard; but when he gate thear
th' door wor fesand, soa he thowt th' best plan wod be to climb over th'
wall, for as it wor th' middle o'th' day, an' all th' fowk i'th' tother
haases could see what wor gooin' on, he knew shoo'd niver forgive him
for callin her aght if shoo didn't happen to be weshed an' tidied; soa
up he climbed, an' as it wor twice as deep o'th' tother side he worn't
disappointed to see a big tub just standin nicely ready to step on to;
soa ovver he jumpt, an' as might be expected, th' top gave way, an' he
varry sooin fan hissen up to th' middle i' pig-mait. But he nawther
stamped nor sware nor made a din like mooast fowk wod ha' done--for he'd
getten soa use to messes o' one sooart an' another wol he'd begun to tak
'em as a matter o' cooarse.

"Well, here's another bit o' my luk," he sed; "this is another mullock
aw've getten into, soa aw mun get aght on it someway; it's noa use
freeatin' abaat what cannot be helped, an' ther's one consolation, it
mud ha' been war." Just as he wor scramlin' aght, his hont coom to see
what wor to do, but shoo didn't fly into a pashon as yo might fancy.
"Hallo, Jack!" shoo says, "aw thowt it must be thee; tha's dropt in for
it another time, has ta?"

"Eea, aw reckon aw have, but if aw havn't spoilt th' swill aw dooant
care."

"Oh, aw'll forgie thi that, lad; tha's'made a nice pictur o' thisen,
reight enuff; aw could just like thi fottagraff takkin nah, but come thi
ways in."

"Nay, hont aw'll nooan come in i' this state; aw'll call agean some
other day, for awst mak nowt but muck."

"Niver heed th' muck; come thi ways in, for tha lukes like a hauf-draand
ratten; tha'll catch thi deeath o' cold if tha hasn't summat warm. Come
in an doff them clooas, an' aw'll see if aw connot find some o' thi
uncles 'at'll fit thi wol thine's fit to put on agean. Aw niver did see
sich a mess i' all my life. Th' idea ov a chap fallin' up to' th' middle
in a swill-tub!"

"Why, its net varry nice, reight enuff, but it mud ha' been war, hont."

"Aw wonder ha," shoo sed.

"Why, if aw'd gooan ovver th' heead."

"Well, that wodn't ha' made, things ony better, tru