ered th'
pan fair at her head;--he miss'd his aim an' knock'd th' canary cage to
smithereens, th' cat gate th' burd, an' th' pan fell into th' churn.
Nah, what wod ta think ov a thing like that?"

"Waw, its just loike one ov her tricks;-tha knows shoo wor allus a
trimmer o' one, Dick."

"Shoo wor, Tommy, an shoo allus will be to her deeing day. It put awr
Joa into a awful passhian, but shoo didn't care a pin, shoo said shoo'd
lived too long near a wood' to be fear'd ov a hullet,--but they're as
reight as Dick and Liddy nah. Aw'll tell thi ha that happens. Tha knows,
awr Joa allus thowt a deeal ov his mother, an he wanted th' wife to do
i'th' same way; an one morning shoo' wor neighding th' dooaf, when Joa
says, 'Mally', that isn't th' way to neighd, my mother allus 'used to do
soa;'--an' he wor baan to show' haa; Shoo made noa mooar to do, but
lauped into th' middle o'th' bowl wi' her clogs on, an' started o'
traiding it wi' her feet, an' shoo says, 'does thi mother do soa?' After
that, he let her have it mooastly to her own way, an' they seem to get
on varry weel amang it nah--an' if he keeps steady they're putting it
together nicely. An' what have yo fresh, Tommy?"

"Nay, nowt 'at means ought aw think, Dick--but aw'd like to been
pooisened t'other wick, but as luck let, aw wor noa war."

"Pooisened! Tommy, nay, surelee nut."

"Yos, but aw had--tha sees aw live at th' Ee'Gurnard, an' aw'd just been
into th' mistal wi' young maister William, an' he'd been holding th'
canel for me whol aw siled th' milk, an' he wor full ov his marlocks an'
bluzzed th' canel up mi nooas an' put it aght,--he's a shocker."

"Waw, Tommy, yo wodn't be pooisened wi' a canel, aw'll niver believe?"

"Noa, but as aw wor telling thi, aw'd been i'th' mistal, an' aw went
into th' kitchen for a bit o' summat to ait. Aw saw some fat o'th' ooven
top in a pot, soa aw gate some breead an' ait it up. Aw thowt it wor
fearful gooid an' savored summat aw'd niver had afoor; but just when
aw'd finished it, one o'th' young mistresses come daan an' axed me what
aw'd done wi' what wor i'th' pot? Soa aw tell'd her aw'd etten it. Etten
it!!' shoo skriked. 'Etten it!! Why,' shoo says, 'yo'll be pooisened,
Tommy, its pumatum!' Well, aw says, 'pumatum or net, aw've etten
it,'--an' away shoo ran an' browt th' maister an' th' mistress, an' all
t'other fowk i'th' haase, an' rarely they laffed tha minds; but maister
made me a glass o' rum to settle it, an' aw felt