k._

LIZZIE. Children! here comes grandma.

PHILIP. [_Disgusted._] Oh, pshaw!

CHRISTOPHER. Don't want grandma.

LIZZIE. Sh!

[MRS. CARLEY _comes in from the Right. She is a middle-aged woman, of
faded prettiness and frivolous manner. Every line and bit of character
has been massaged out of her face. There is a sudden, embarrassed, and
gloomy silence on the part of the children._

MRS. CARLEY. Well, children, having a lovely party?

PHILIP. [_Grudgingly._] Yes, ma'am!

ELAINE. [_Politely._] Yes, ma'am.

CHRISTOPHER. Aunt Georgiana's party!

MRS. CARLEY. Yes, dear, it's too bad mamma is ill in bed. She says when
you are all through, you may come up and say how do you do, while she
kisses Phil. [_Silence._] That will be nice, won't it?

PHILIP. [_Grudgingly._] Yes, ma'am.

ELAINE. Yes, ma'am.

CHRISTOPHER. Yes, ma'am.

TOOTS. No!

MRS. CARLEY. We are glad you could come in, Elaine, and help celebrate
Philip's birthday.

ELAINE. Thank you, ma'am!

[TOOTS _is mashing his ice cream strenuously with a spoon._

MRS. CARLEY. Toots! don't be naughty and don't mash your ice cream up
like that.

TOOTS. I like it.

CHRISTOPHER. Me too--it makes soup!

[_Copying_ TOOTS.

MRS. CARLEY. Your collar's crooked, Chris.

[_Arranging it._

CHRISTOPHER. Ouch!

[_Squirming._

MRS. CARLEY. Phil, shall grandma cut your cake for you?

PHILIP. No, ma'am, Auntie Georgiana's going to cut it.

MRS. CARLEY. Oh, very well. How's your mamma, Elaine? Is she going to
the big ball to-morrow?

ELAINE. Yes, ma'am.

MRS. CARLEY. We feel dreadfully. Philip's mamma's illness prevents our
going.

ELAINE. Mamma said you weren't invited.

MRS. CARLEY. [_Pats_ PHILIP _on the head, to his great disgust and
discomfort._] Your mamma had better mind! Your mamma is mistaken!
Good-by, children, grandma is sorry she can't stay and have a good time
with you. I am going to call, Elaine, on the Countess of Worling, Mrs.
Tom Cooley's daughter. I don't think your mother knows them. Good-by,
dears, enjoy yourselves.

[_She goes out Left._

[_Silence till the door is well shut behind grandma, and then the
children break out with shouts, all of them, of "Good-by, Grandma.
Good-by," repeated ad lib. Then they calm down._

PHILIP. Bully! Grandma's gone!

CHRISTOPHER. Ice cream!

ALL THE CHILDREN. More ice cream! Ice cream!

PHILIP. Let's see.

[MOLES _hands him the ice cream dish._

CHRISTOPHER. [_To_ PHILIP.] Can I have s