'd, and worse than that, with thirst and cough
beside, sirs;
Skin dry, and breathing difficult, and pains in epigastrium,
And watchfulness or partial sleep, with dreams would strike the
bravest dumb.
To cure--restore the balance of exhalants and absorbents,
With squill, blue-pill, and other means to soothe the patient's
torments.
GRINDER.
Sure this is not your climax, sir, to save from Davy's locker!
STUDENT.
Way, no,--I'd then with caution tap--when first I'd tied the knocker.
Sing hey! sing ho! if you cannot find a new plan,
In Puseyistic days like these, you'd better try a New-man.
TYMPANITIS.
The swelling here is different--sonorous, tense, elastic;
On it you might a tattoo beat, with fingers or with a stick.
There's costiveness and atrophy, with features Hippocratic;
When these appear, there's much to fear, all safety is erratic.
Although a cordial laxative, mix'd up with some carminative,
Might be prescribed, with morphia, or hops, to keep the man alive;
Take care his diet's nutritive, avoiding food that's flatulent,
And each week let him have a dose of Punch from Mr. Bryant sent.
Sing hey! sing ho! &c.
* * * * *
ALARMING PROSPECTS FOR THE COUNTRY.
It appears that no less than _one hundred and sixty-four_ Attorneys have
given notice of their intention to practise in the Court of Queen's Bench;
and _eleven_ of the fraternity have applied to be re-admitted Attorneys of
the Court. We had no idea that such an alarming extension was about taking
place in
[Illustration: THE RIFLE CORPS.]
* * * * *
"ONE GOOD TURN DESERVES ANOTHER."
A poor man went to hang himself,
But treasure chanced to find;
He pocketed the miser's pelf
And left the rope behind.
His money gone, the miser hung
Himself in sheer despair:
Thus each the other's wants supplied,
And that was surely fair.
* * * * *
We understand that Mr. Webster has solicited Sir Peter Laurie to make an
early debut at the Haymarket Theatre in the _Heir_ (hair) _at Law_.
Madame Vestris has also endeavoured to prevail upon the civic mercy.
Andrew to appear in the afterpiece of the _Rape of the Lock_.
* * * * *
THE HEIR OF APPLEBITE.
CHAPTER X.
WHEREIN THE READER WILL FIND GREAT CAUSE FOR REJOICING.
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