h it has been your endeavour to elucidate? Have you
followed in the steps of the lamented Professor Drybones of Chicago, who
died before he could prove, by a complete enumeration of all the
instances in Greek literature, that [Greek text] is never the first word
of a sentence? Have you--"

"Pardon me, Professor," put in the Rhodes Scholar. "That ain't my
platform at all. I may say, I don't take any stock in literatoor."

"Am I then to understand," the Tutor asked, "that you are _not_
acquainted with the Greek and Latin Classics?"

"Not considerable," replied the American. "In fact, not any."

"And to what, then, have your studies been directed?"

"Not to books, Professor. No, nor yet laboratories and such. I was
elected Scholar by the unanimous suffrage of my class in Thessalonica,
Maine, for Moral Character. When it comes to Moral Character, you look
at me. That is just where I am on top every time."

"Moral Character!" exclaimed the Tutor, aghast. "Oh, dear me! I am
afraid that won't do at all--here. Moral Character--well, I hardly know
how to put it--but the fact is that if _that_ is all that you have to
rely upon, you would be sent down within a year infallibly--Oh,
infallibly, I assure you! . . . But," he continued, "we must try to
think of something for both of you gentlemen. Could I not give you both
a letter of recommendation to my friend the Master of St. Cuthbert's?
_There_, I know, they value very highly both morality and the
'Encyclopaedia Pananglica.' I am sure it would be just the place for you
both. Do let me write!"

"As the Master of Alfred's sent Cecil Rhodes on to Auriol?" suggested the
spruce young man, innocently.

"As the Master of--why, no," said the Tutor, "I think that won't do,
after all. Really, I believe, we must try to keep you at Boniface."
Boniface had suffered severely from agricultural depression. "Well,
gentlemen--come to me again two hours hence, and we will try to think of
something for you. Good morning!"

* * * * *

The Tutor was in a sad quandary. Paid as he was by results fees, he
could not afford to receive pupils who would disgrace him in the Schools.
Yet it had always been his creed that a College must adapt itself to
existing circumstances, and be instinct with the Zeit Geist.

For a long time he remained wrapt in meditation.

* * * * *

Two hours elapsed, and the Tutor was again