he Purple
Blossom of Gingham Mountain marries Polly Hawkes over on the Painted
Post. Polly was a beauty, with a arm like a canthook, an' at sech
dulcet exercises as huggin' she's got b'ars left standin' sideways.
However, that's back in Tennessee, an' many years ago.'

"Enright, breshin' the drops from his eyes, herds the Turner person
into the Red Light an' signals to Black Jack.

"'Onfold,' he says; 'tell me as to that love affair wharin you gets
cold-decked.'

"Nell abandons her p'sition on the lookout stool, an' shows up
interested an' intent at Enright's shoulder.

"Ain't I in this?' she asks.

"'Be thar any feachures,' says Enright to the Turner person,
'calc'lated to offend the y'ears of innocence?'

"'None whatever,' says the Turner person. 'Which I'm oncapable of
shockin' the most fastid'yous.'

"'Is thar time,' asks Nell of Enright, 'for me to round up Missis
Rucker an' Tucson Jennie? Listenin' to love tales, that a-way, is duck
soup to both of 'em.'

"'You-all can tell 'em later, Nellie,' returns Enright. Then, to the
Turner person, 'Roll your game, _amigo_, an' if you needs refreshment,
yere it is.'

"'It ain't no mighty reecital,' says the Turner person loogubriously,
'an' yet it ought to go some distance, among fa'r-minded gents, in
explainin' them vain elements of the weird an' ranikaboo which more or
less enters into my recent conduct. I'm from Missouri; an' for a
livelihood, an' to give the wolf a stand-off, I follows the profession
of a fooneral director. My one weakness is my love for Peggy Parks,
who lives with her folks out in the Sni-a-bar hills.

"'The nuptual day is set, an' I goes hibernatin' off to Kansas City to
fetch the license.'

"'How old be you?' breaks in Enright.

"'Me? I'm twenty-six the last Joone rise of the old Missouri. As I
was sayin', I hitches my hoss in Market Squar', an' takes to
reeconoiterin' along Battle Row, wonderin' wharever them licenses is
for sale, anyway. Final, I discovers a se'f satisfied lookin' party,
who's pattin' a dog. I goes to talkin' about the dog, an' allowin'
I'm some on dogs myse'f, all by way of commencin' a conversation;
an' winds up by askin' whar I go for to get a license. "Over thar,"
says the dog party p'intin' across to a edifice he asshores me is a
City Hall. "First floor, first door, an' the damage is a dollar."

"'Thus steered, I goes streakin' it across, an' follows directions. I
boards my dollar, an' demands action. The outc