proachin' normal, as Peets puts it, he mentions
to Enright casyooal like that, if the town sees nothin' ag'in it, he
reckons he'll open an ondertakin' shop.

"'Not,' he says, 'that I'm the man to go hintin' that what former
foonerals has been pulled off in these yere parts ain't been all they
should; but still, to get a meetropolitan effect, you oughter have a
hearse an' ploomes. Let it be mine to provide them marks of a advanced
civilization. It'll make villages like Red Dog an' Colton sing low,
an' be a distinct advantage to a camp which is strugglin' for
consid'ration. Yes, sir,' goes on the Turner person, warmin' with the
theme, 'what's the public use of obsequies if you-all don't exhaust
'em of every ounce of good? An' how can any outfit expect to do this,
an' said outfit shy that greatest evidence of modern reefinement, a
hearse? Given a rosewood coffin, an' a black hearse with ploomes--me
on the box--an' the procession linin' solemnly out for Boot Hill, if
we-all ain't the instant envy of the territory, you can peg me out by
the nearest ant hill ontil I pleads guilty to bein' wrong.'

"'Thar's no need for all this yere eloquence,' replies Enright,
blandly. 'What you proposes has been a dream of mine for years. You
open your game as fooneral director, an' if we can't find material for
you local, we'll go rummagin' 'round as far as Lordsburg an' Silver
City to supply the deficiency.'

"Feelin' Enright is behind him, the Turner person goes to work with
sech exyooberant enthoosiasm, that it ain't a month before he brings
over his hearse from Tucson, said vehicle havin' been sent on from the
East. She's shore no slouch for a catafalque neither, an' we p'rades
up an' down the street with it, gettin' the effect.

"Boggs voices the common feelin'.

"'Thar's a conveyance,' says he, 'that comes mighty close to robbin'
death of half its sting. Any sport is bound to cash in more content,
when he savvys that his last appearance is bound to be a vict'ry an'
he'll be freighted to the sepulcher in a swell wagon like that.'

"'It is shore calc'lated to confer class on the deeparted,' assents
Tutt.

"These praises certainly exalts the sperits of the Turner person a
whole lot. He buys the old Lady Gay dance hall, which, since the goin'
out of the Votes for Women S'loon, has again become the ondispooted
property of Armstrong, makes a double-door to back in the hearse, an'
reopens that deefunct temple of drink an' merriment a