The Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 93,
July 23, 1887., by Various

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net

Title: Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 93, July 23, 1887.

Author: Various

Release Date: June 13, 2010 [EBook #32804]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH, CHARIVARI, JULY 23, 1887 ***

Produced by Neville Allen, Malcolm Farmer and the Online
Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net

PUNCH,

OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

VOLUME 93

* * * * *

JULY 23, 1887.

* * * * *

MR. PUNCH'S MANUAL FOR YOUNG RECITERS.

No Amateur Reciter can consider himself fully equipped for the
Drawing-room or Platform unless he is furnished with at least one poem
in dialect, and _Mr. Punch_ has accordingly commissioned from his Poet a
recitation couched in the well-known vernacular of Loompshire.
Loompshire, it need hardly be explained, is the county where most of the
stage-rustics come from. The author of this little poem ventures to hope
that philologists will find much deserving of careful study in some of
the local expressions and provincialisms, while he can guarantee their
entire authenticity, as they are mostly of his own invention. The
phraseology is strictly copyright and must not be infringed, except by a
dignitary of archiepiscopal rank for a charitable purpose. As for the
piece itself, it is founded on a little anecdote related to the poet,
which he believes has not hitherto seen the light in a metrical form. It
has a good old-fashioned double title, viz:--

MICHAELMAS DAY; OR, HOW TAMMAS PATTLE VERY NEARLY COOKED HIS GOOSE.

Begin by explaining the situation, thus:--"This is supposed to be spoken
by a Loompshire cottager, who overhears a stranger admiring the goodly
proportions of his goose,"--then start with as broad a drawl as you can
assume. Remember that to be effective you must be unintelligible.

[Illustration]

"Bewty," I 'ears ya carl her?--aye, ya niver spooke truthfuller wurred!
Rammack t' coontry side ovver, an ya weaent see no foiner burred!
Passon he axed ma to sell her--b