taken interest in
them, you have cherished them, as if you were the author, you the object
of them. You profess to believe in One True God, and to reject every
other; and now you are implying that the Hand, the Shadow of that God is
on my mind and heart. Who is this God? where? how? in what? O Agellius,
you have stood in the way of Him, ready to speak for yourself, using Him
as a means to an end."

"O Callista," said Agellius, in an agitated voice, when he could speak,
"do my ears hear aright? do you really wish to be taught who the true God
is?"

"No, mistake me not," she cried passionately, "I have no such wish. I
could not be of your religion. Ye Gods! how have I been deceived! I
thought every Christian was like Chione. I thought there could not be a
cold Christian. Chione spoke as if a Christian's first thoughts were
goodwill to others; as if his state were of such blessedness, that his
dearest heart's wish was to bring others into it. Here is a man who, so
far from feeling himself blest, thinks I can bless him! comes to me--me,
Callista, a herb of the field, a poor weed, exposed to every wind of
heaven, and shrivelling before the fierce sun--to me he comes to repose his
heart upon. But as for any blessedness he has to show me, why, since he
does not feel any himself, no wonder he has none to give away. I thought a
Christian was superior to time and place; but all is hollow. Alas, alas, I
am young in life to feel the force of that saying, with which sages go out
of it, 'Vanity and hollowness!' Agellius, when I first heard you were a
Christian, how my heart beat! I thought of her who was gone; and at first
I thought I saw her in you, as if there had been some magical sympathy
between you and her; and I hoped that from you I might have learned more
of that strange strength which my nature needs, and which she told me she
possessed. Your words, your manner, your looks were altogether different
from others who came near me. But so it was; you came, and you went, and
came again; I thought it reserve, I thought it timidity, I thought it the
caution of a persecuted sect; but O, my disappointment, when first I saw
in you indications that you were thinking of me only as others think, and
felt towards me as others may feel; that you were aiming at me, not at
your God; that you had much to tell of yourself, but nothing of Him! Time
was I might have been led to worship you, Agellius; you have hindered it
by worshipping _me_."