the room.

CHAPTER XII.

A DEATH.

The first stages of repentance are but a fever, in which there is
restlessness and thirst, hot and cold fits, vague, dreary dreams, long
darkness which seems destined never to have a morning, effort without
result, and collapse without reaction. These symptoms had already
manifested themselves in Agellius; he spoke calmly to Callista, and
sustained himself by the claims of the moment; but no sooner had he left
the room and was thrown upon himself, than his self-possession left him,
and he fell into an agony, or rather anarchy of tumultuous feelings. Then
rose up before his mind a hundred evil spectres, not less scaring and more
real than the dreams of the delirious. He thought of the singular favour
which had been shown him in his reception into the Christian fold, and
that at so early a date; of the myriads all around who continued in
heathenism as they had been born, and of his utter insensibility to his
own privilege. He felt how much would be required of him, and how little
hitherto had been forthcoming. He thought of the parable of the barren
fig-tree, and the question was whispered in his ear whether it would not
be fulfilled in him. He asked himself in what his heart and his conduct
differed from the condition of a fairly virtuous heathen. And then he
thought of Callista in contrast with himself, as having done more with the
mite which she possessed than he had done with many pounds. He felt that
Tyre and Sidon were rising up against him in her person; or rather how the
saying seemed about to be verified in her, that strangers should sit down
in the kingdom from far countries, while those who were the heirs should
be thrust out. He had been rebuked by one to whom he rather ought to have
brought self-knowledge and compunction, and she was sensitively alive to
his want of charity. She had felt bitterly that she was left in ignorance
and sin by one who had what she had not. She had accused him of being
zealous enough to win her to himself, when he had shown no zeal at all to
win her to her Maker. If she was brought to the truth at length, there
would be no thanks to him for the happy change; yet on the other hand,
though he had predicted it, alas! was it likely that it would be granted?
Had she not had her opportunity, which was lost because he had not
improved it? Yes, she had with a deliberate mind and