another grape shot came and took off the
other. Now that's what I call a close shave."

"Yes," replied Captain Kearney, "very close, indeed, if it were true;
but you'll excuse me, Mr Phillott, but you sometimes tell strange
stories. I do not mind it myself, but the example is not good to my
young relation here, Mr Simple."

"Captain Kearney," replied the first lieutenant, laughing very
immoderately, "do you know what the pot called the kettle?"

"No, sir, I do not," retorted the captain, with offended dignity. "Mr
Simple, will you take a glass of wine?"

I thought that this little _brouillerie_ would have checked the captain;
it did so, but only for a few minutes, when he again commenced. The
first lieutenant observed that it would be necessary to let water into
the ship every morning, and pump it out, to avoid the smell of the bilge
water.

"There are worse smells than bilge water," replied the captain. "What
do you think of a whole ship's company being nearly poisoned with otto
of roses? Yet that occurred to me when in the Mediterranean. I was off
Smyrna, cruising for a French ship, that was to sail to France, with a
pacha on board, as an ambassador. I knew she would be a good prize, and
was looking sharp out, when one morning we discovered her on the lee
bow. We made all sail, but she walked away from us, bearing away
gradually till we were both before the wind, and at night we lost sight
of her. As I knew that she was bound to Marseilles, I made all sail to
fall in with her again. The wind was light and variable; but five days
afterwards, as I lay in my cot, just before daylight, I smelt a very
strong smell, blowing in at the weather port, and coming down the
skylight which was open; and after sniffing at it two or three times, I
knew it to be otto of roses. I sent for the officer of the watch, and
asked him if there were anything in sight. He replied `that there was
not;' and I ordered him to sweep the horizon with his glass, and look
well out to windward. As the wind freshened, the smell became more
powerful. I ordered him to get the royal yards across, and all ready to
make sail, for I knew that the Turk must be near us. At daylight, there
he was, just three miles ahead in the wind's eye. But although he beat
us going free, he was no match for us on a wind, and before noon we had
possession of him and all his harem. By-the-bye, I could tell you a
good story about the ladies. She was a very