upig.
He frighted all--cats, dogs, and all,
Each cow, each horse, and each hog;
For fear they did flee, for they took him to be
Some strange outlandish hedgehog."

--_Knickerbocker's History of New York._

* * * * *

"A friend of mine," said a citizen, "asked me the other evening to go
and call on some friends of his who had lost the head of the family the
day previous. He had been an honest old man, a laborer with a pick and
shovel. While we were with the family an old man entered who had worked
by his side for years. Expressing his sorrow at the loss of his friend,
and glancing about the room, he observed a large floral anchor.
Scrutinizing it closely, he turned to the widow and in a low tone asked,
'Who sent the pick?'"

While Butler was delivering a speech for the Democrats in Boston during
an exciting campaign, one of his hearers cried out, "How about the
spoons, Ben?" Benjamin's good eye twinkled merrily as he replied: "Now,
don't mention that, please. I was a Republican when I stole those
spoons."

BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

MAXIMS

Never spare the parson's wine, nor the baker's pudding.

A house without woman or firelight is like a body without soul or
sprite.

Kings and bears often worry their keepers.

Light purse, heavy heart.

He's a fool that makes his doctor his heir.

Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.

To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals.

He that drinks fast pays slow.

He is ill-clothed who is bare of virtue.

Beware of meat twice boil'd, and an old foe reconcil'd.

The heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of a wise man is in
his heart.

He that is rich need not live sparingly, and he that can live sparingly
need not be rich.

He that waits upon fortune is never sure of a dinner.

MODEL OF A LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION OF A PERSON YOU ARE UNACQUAINTED
WITH

PARIS, April 2, 1777.

_Sir_: The bearer of this, who is going to America, presses me to
give him a letter of recommendation, though I know nothing of him,
not even his name. This may seem extraordinary, but I assure you it
is not uncommon here. Sometimes, indeed, one unknown person brings
another equally unknown, to recommend him; and sometimes they
recommend one another! As to this gentleman, I must refer you to
himself for his character and merits, with which he is certainly
better