l my days, but for which the poetical justice of Providence
administered to me, many years afterward, a punishment in
kind. There was a classmate who sat next to me in the recitation
in the sophomore year, whom everybody knew and liked, but
who was not very much interested in study. He got along as
he best could by his native wits and such little application
as he found absolutely necessary. One day we were reciting
in Lowth's Grammar. The Bishop says that in English the substantive
singular is made plural for the most part by adding s. Professor
Channing called up this classmate of mine, who stated this
as follows: "The author says that the distinction between
nouns in the singular and plural is that the latter end in
s." "Is that a good distinction?" asked the Professor. My
neighbor answered with great confidence, "No, sir," as he
was well warranted in doing from the form of the question.
"Can't you give us some instance of words in the singular
number that end in s?" said the Professor. My friend, who
was considerable embarrassed, stammered, was staggered, and
hesitated a moment. I whispered in his ear, "Hoss," on which
he, without any reflection, blurted out, "Hoss." There was
a roar of laughter from the class, and the poor fellow sat
down, much distressed at his blunder. Channing dismissed
the class, and the next day gave us a lecture. He said our
uproarious laughter had disturbed Dr. Walker's recitation
in the neighboring room, "especially you, Curtis, with your
pit laugh." I ought to have risen up instantly and avowed
myself the guilty cause of my classmate's innocent blunder.
But, much to my own shame and disgrace, I did not do it. But
some forty years afterward, I was engaged in an earnest discussion
in the Senate Chamber with Butler of South Carolina, at the
time of the passage of the first Civil Service law. Butler
favored the law and his whole bearing in the discussion was
exceedingly proper and creditable. We were talking of some
prohibition, of some clause forbidding the imposing assessments
upon office-holders for political purposes, and it was proposed
to except from the prohibition voluntary contributions for
proper election purposes. Butler asked me what I should consider
improper election purposes. I hesitated a moment when Miller
of California, who was a man of a good deal of fun, whispered
in my ear, "Buying shotguns to shoot negroes with," which
I, without reflecting and indee