ways wears the "cutest" gloves.
At playing ping-pong he's inured,
And his finger-nails are manicured.

He uses powder on his face
And his handkerchiefs are trimmed with lace;
He loves to play progressive euchre
And spend his papa's hard-earned lucre.
He wears an air of nonchalance
And always takes in every dance.

Socially, he's quite a pet
And always fashionably in debt.
He hates to be considered slow
And poses as a famous beau.
He loves to cut a swath and dash
When papa dear puts up the cash.

This, my child, is the Sissy Boy
Who acts so womanly and coy.
His head's as soft as new-made butter;
His aim in life is just to flutter;
Yet he goes along with unconcern
And marries a woman with money to burn.

TO GELETT BURGESS.

I never saw a purple cow,
You say you never saw one;
But this I'll tell you anyhow,
I know that I can draw one.

THE LOBSTER.

Lobsters haven't any feet,
But they have lots of claws;
Yet lobster meat is good to eat,
And this is strange, because--
A dog is never good to eat,
And yet a dog has paws,
And so have cats, and so have rats
And so have other kind of brats.

A lobster then, so to speak,
Is, my child, an awful freak;
For if you get him in a stew,
He'll blush quite red and glare at you.
Yet if you eat much lobster salad,
It will make you very pallid.

A PUN FROM THE DEEP.

A funny thing once happened to a German from Berlin,
For once he got too gay and seized a swordfish by the fin,
This made the big fish angry, and he sawed the German's chin.
"Just Tell Them That I Saw You" said the swordfish with a grin.

STYLISH.

There once was an old crocodile
Who lived on the banks of the Nile.
One day, for a meal,
He swallowed a wheel,
And ate for dessert, an automobile.

IF I COULD FLY.

(What the Little Boy Thought.)

If I had wings just like a bird
Do you know what I'd do?
I'd fly way up into the sky
An' holler down at you.

I'd fly along the Milky Way
Feelin' fine and chipper,
An' then I'd drink some buttermilk
Fresh from out the Dipper.

I'd skim along through fleecy clouds,
An' see the great, Big Bear
An' ask him