s
As it sneezes out of reach!
How you groan and yawn and stretch
In the chilly morning air,
As you pull the blankets tight,
With your head clear out of sight--
How you swear!

A NEW VERSION.

Old Mother Hubbard
She went to the cupboard,
To find a nice bone for her dog.
But when she got there
The cupboard was bare,
And now they are both on the hog.

OH SCISSORS!

I knew a young man so conceited
That a glance at his face made you heated.
One night, playing whist,
He was slapped on the wrist,
Because some one said that he cheated.

HE APED HER.

An impudent Barbary ape
Once tried on a lady's new cape.
As he gave a big grin,
The lady came in,
And--his children are still wearing crepe.

TAKE UP THE HOUSEHOLD BURDEN.

Take up the household burden,
No iron rule of kings,
But make your family understand
That you are running things,
Don't storm around and bluster,
And don't get mad and swear
If in the soup is floating--
A rag and a hank of hair.

Take up the household burden
In patience to abide,
To curse the irate grocer
And make your wife confide
By open speech and simple
And hundred times made plain
How she has sought to profit
In spending all you gain.

Take up the household burden--
The little baby boy,
And walk the floor in anguish
And don't let it annoy.
For when the kid seems sleepy
And you are feeling "sold,"
There comes a cry from baby boy
That makes your blood run cold.

Take up the household burden
And try and be a man,
Just simply grin and bear it
And do the best you can.
Come now and try your manhood
And let the future go,
And listen to your elders--
They've tried it and they know.

VITASCOPE PICTURES.

A young girl stands
Upon the sands,
And waves her hands--
Flirtation.

A fresh young man
With shoes of tan,
Looks spick and span--
Expectation.

They walk the beach,
She seems a peach
Just out of reach--
Vexation.

Ah what is this?
A sound of bliss
A kiss, a kiss--
Elation.

A father lean
Upon the scene,
Looks awful mean--
(Curtain.)