* * * * *

A government clerk gave his son a thrashing because he had only
obtained five marks in all his subjects at school. It seemed to him
not good enough. When he was told that he was in the wrong, that five
is the highest mark obtainable, he thrashed his son again--out of
vexation with himself.

* * * * *

A very good man has such a face that people take him for a detective;
he is suspected of having stolen shirt-studs.

* * * * *

A serious phlegmatic doctor fell in love with a girl who danced very
well, and, to please her, he started to learn a mazurka.

* * * * *

The hen sparrow believes that her cock sparrow is not chirping but
singing beautifully.

* * * * *

When one is peacefully at home, life seems ordinary, but as soon as
one walks into the street and begins to observe, to question women,
for instance, then life becomes terrible. The neighborhood of
Patriarshi Prudy (a park and street in Moscow) looks quiet and
peaceful, but in reality life there is hell.

* * * * *

These red-faced young and old women are so healthy that steam seems to
exhale from them.

* * * * *

The estate will soon be brought under the hammer; there is poverty all
round; and the footmen are still dressed like jesters.

* * * * *

There has been an increase not in the number of nervous diseases and
nervous patients, but in the number of doctors able to study those
diseases.

* * * * *

The more refined the more unhappy.

* * * * *

Life does not agree with philosophy: there is no happiness which is
not idleness and only the useless is pleasurable.

* * * * *

The grandfather is given fish to eat, and if it does not poison him
and he remains alive, then all the family eat it.

* * * * *

A correspondence. A young man dreams of devoting himself to literature
and constantly writes to his father about it; at last he gives up
the civil service, goes to Petersburg, and devotes himself to
literature--he becomes a censor.

* * * * *

First class sleeping car. Passengers numbers 6, 7, 8 and 9. They
discuss daughters-in-l