* * * * *

The maid, when she makes the bed, always puts the slippers under the
bed close to the wall. The fat master, unable to bear it any longer,
gives the maid notice. It turns out that the doctor told her to put
the slippers as far as possible under the bed so as to cure the man of
his obesity.

* * * * *

The club blackballed a respectable man because all of the members were
out of humor; they ruined his prospects.

* * * * *

A large factory. The young employer plays the superior to all and is
rude to the employees who have University degrees. Only the gardener,
a German, has the courage to be offended: "How dare you, gold bag?"

* * * * *

A tiny little schoolboy with the name of Trachtenbauer.

* * * * *

Whenever he reads in the newspaper about the death of a great man, he
wears mourning.

* * * * *

In the theatre. A gentleman asks a lady to take her hat off, as it
is in his way. Grumbling, disagreeableness, entreaties. At last a
confession: "Madam, I am the author of the play." She answered: "I
don't care."

* * * * *

In order to act wisely it is not enough to be wise (Dostoevsky).

* * * * *

A. and B. have a bet. A. wins the wager, by eating twelve cutlets; B.
does not pay even for the cutlets.

* * * * *

It is terrible to dine every day with a person who stammers and says
stupid things.

* * * * *

Glancing at a plump, appetizing woman: "It is not a woman, it is a
full moon."

* * * * *

From her face one would imagine that under her stays she has got
gills.

* * * * *

For a farce: Kapiton Ivanovitch Boil.

* * * * *

An income-tax inspector and an excise official, in order to justify
their occupations to themselves, say spontaneously: "It is an
interesting profession, there is a lot of work, it is a live
occupation."

* * * * *

At twenty she loved Z., at twenty-four she married N. not because she
loved him, but because she thought him a good, wise, ideal man. The
couple lived happily; every one envies them, and indeed their life
passes