dearest, I am wavering even now between the two opposites
of recklessly renouncing you, and labouring humbly for you again.
Forget that you have said No, and let it be as it was! Say,
Bathsheba, that you only wrote that refusal to me in fun--come, say
it to me!"

"It would be untrue, and painful to both of us. You overrate my
capacity for love. I don't possess half the warmth of nature you
believe me to have. An unprotected childhood in a cold world has
beaten gentleness out of me."

He immediately said with more resentment: "That may be true,
somewhat; but ah, Miss Everdene, it won't do as a reason! You are
not the cold woman you would have me believe. No, no! It isn't
because you have no feeling in you that you don't love me. You
naturally would have me think so--you would hide from me that you
have a burning heart like mine. You have love enough, but it is
turned into a new channel. I know where."

The swift music of her heart became hubbub now, and she throbbed
to extremity. He was coming to Troy. He did then know what had
occurred! And the name fell from his lips the next moment.

"Why did Troy not leave my treasure alone?" he asked, fiercely.
"When I had no thought of injuring him, why did he force himself upon
your notice! Before he worried you your inclination was to have me;
when next I should have come to you your answer would have been Yes.
Can you deny it--I ask, can you deny it?"

She delayed the reply, but was too honest to withhold it. "I
cannot," she whispered.

"I know you cannot. But he stole in in my absence and robbed me.
Why didn't he win you away before, when nobody would have been
grieved?--when nobody would have been set tale-bearing. Now the
people sneer at me--the very hills and sky seem to laugh at me till I
blush shamefully for my folly. I have lost my respect, my good name,
my standing--lost it, never to get it again. Go and marry your
man--go on!"

"Oh sir--Mr. Boldwood!"

"You may as well. I have no further claim upon you. As for me, I
had better go somewhere alone, and hide--and pray. I loved a woman
once. I am now ashamed. When I am dead they'll say, Miserable
love-sick man that he was. Heaven--heaven--if I had got jilted
secretly, and the dishonour not known, and my position kept! But
no matter, it is gone, and the woman not gained. Shame upon
him--shame!"

His unreasonable anger terrified her, and she glided from him,
without obviously moving, as