shers and all.

After he growed up, his Father got him a plaice at a Lunatic Asylum, as
being the most properest for his sollem natur; and there he remained for
no less than five years!

Then, on the other hand, there's old TOM, or rayther yung TOM, for he's
one of them jolly chaps as never seems to get no older. Why he goes
about a grinning away, and a chatting away, and a chaffing of old BILL,
who's much younger than him, like anythink. So I naterally arsked him
how he acounted for his good sperrits. And what was his arnser? Why,
hurly training. His Father was a Comic Play Actor, and allers ready for
a larf, and offen took yung TOM with him to the Theater till he becum
quite a favrite with all the merry gals there, who used to pet him, and
give him sweets, and teach him to say all sorts of funny things; and,
when he was old enuff, he was promoted to the dignity of a full-blown
Super, at 18 shillings a week, and all his close found. His grate
differculty was in looking serious and keeping serious when serious
bizziness was a going on; and on one occashun, when he was playing one
of a band of sangwinerry ruffians, sumthink so took his fansy, that he
not only bust into a loud larf hisself, but set all the rest of the
sangwinerry ruffians a larfing too, and quite spiled all the effect of
the scene. So he was bundled off neck and crop, and soon afterwards got
a sitewashun as a Pleaceman, but, for the life of him, he never could
keep hisself serious when he was before a Magistrate with a case; for if
ennybody made a joke, or ennybody larfed, TOM set off a grinning with
the best of 'em, and once axshally made a joke with his Worship; so of
course off he was sent again, to find a rest for the soles of his feet,
and a free play for his good sperrits, in the honnerabel capacity of a
Waiter.

ROBERT.

* * * * *

[Illustration: PUNCH'S PARLIAMENTARY PUPPETS.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: ULTIMA RATIO.]

_Small Rustic._ "YEOU CAN'T GO THAT WAY."

_Stalwart Young Lady_ (_out Sketching_). "WHY NOT?"

_Small Rustic._ "'CAUSE THERE'S--THERE'S HURDLES."

_Stalwart Young Lady._ "BUT I CAN GET OVER HURDLES."

_Small Rustic._ "AND THEN THERE'S THE BULL!"

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M P.

[Illustration]

_House of Commons, Tuesday, February 11._--"How do you do, TOBY? A merry
New Sessio