as atentif a Waiter as I nos on anywheres,
but you never, no never, ewer sees him smile, not ewen wen a ginerus old
Deputy, or a new maid Alderman, gives him harf-a-crown! I've offen and
offen tried to cheer him hup with a good old glass of ginerus port, wen
sum reglar swells has bin a dining and has not emtied the bottels--as
reel Gennelmen never does--but never quite suck-seeded, tho' he drank
down his wine fast enuff and ewidently injoyed it quite as much as if
he'd paid for it, praps jest a leetle bit more. So one day I wentured to
arsk him how it was as he was allers as sollem as a Churchwarden at a
Charity Sermon, or a Clown in summer time, and he told me as it was all
causd by the suckemstances of his hurly life, which he had never been
abel to shake off hisself, pore Fellar! tho' they was none of 'em his
own fault, which they was as follers.

[Illustration]

To begin with. He was born on a Fryday, on the 1st of April, and amost
all his days for years after seems to have been either Frydays or Fust
of Aprils, sumtimes one, sumtimes tother, sumtimes both. He was the
youngest of eleven children, and so made the family party consist of 13,
always as we all knos a unlucky number, and he seemed to have been
treeted as if it had bin his own fault, which in course it wasn't, not
by no means, no more than it was his fault the having the Skarlet Fever
on one Crismus Day, which he did to heverybody's disgust.

He was afterwards told by his old Nuss BECKY that one speshal greevance
of his pore mother was, that her youngest child being seven years old
when BILLY was born, all the warious prepperashuns customary on such
himportant occasions had been dun away with as useless, ewen to the
customary gigantick Pincushon, so that in his case there was no "Welcum
to the Little Stranger!" So long, too, as his oldest brother remained at
tome, he was never allowed to set down to dinner with the rest of the
famerly, because, in course, he made up the unlucky number, the werry
nateral consequence being, that when his oldest brother suddenly took
his departure from among 'em, poor little BILLY was werry severely
flogged for setting down to dinner with a smiling countinghouse! Of
course ewery time as his unfortnit Birthday came round he was made a
April Fool of, all his six lovin Brothers jining in the sport, one arter
the other, nearly all day long. When he went to school, ewerybody knowed
of his afflickshun, and made a fool of him, hu