nterchange takes
place till all the water is boiling hot. That is how we shall get
through the Session. The Report of the Parnell Commission, being most
heated, will rise to the top first. Then the Tithes Bill, Land Purchase,
the Education question, and one or two other little matters will follow,
till we're all in boiling water. Good-bye now; don't forget to come
across AKERS-DOUGLAS about Eight o'Clock."

_Business done._--Session opened.

* * * * *

KILLING FOR A SHILLING.--Lord WOLSELEY (who seems to have read the
regulations governing communications from soldiers to the Press in a
very liberal spirit) has published an article on the British Army in the
pages of an American Twelvepenny Magazine. The contribution is
embellished with sketches of the costumes of TOMMY ATKINS and his
predecessors. For the rest, some of the letterpress is sufficiently
alarming to warrant "Our Only General" in assuming a title which he
apparently appears to covet--that of a "Shilling Shocker!"

* * * * *

SOMETHING LIKE A DINNER.

[Illustration: Vol au Vent.]

Now that the Parliamentary Session has opened, and the Season threatens
to set in with its usual severity, the dinner question comes prominently
to the front. Even in the best-regulated households there is a sameness
about dinner which, towards the end of the week, palls upon the
appetite. Some ambitious young men have attempted to deal with the
matter and surprise their guests by introducing cheese immediately after
the soup (_souffle au parmesan_), and after a cut of beef comes the fish
(_turbot a la Russe_). That is well meant, but it is crude. _Mr. Punch_
has given his great mind to the subject, and presents to the
consideration of the dining world the following hints for a meal:--

Half-om-half.
Blauwe Landtongsche Oesters.
Hoog-Sauterneswijn.
Soepen.
Dikke Rivierkreeften Soep. Volmaakte Soep in Van Dijk Stijl.
Amontillado.
Zuschotelles.
Selderij. Olijven. Radijs. Haringen. Poukenvorm gebakken
in Berg-op-Zoomsche Stijl.
Liebfraumilch.
Gekruide Gerechten.
Gestreepte Baars, Piet Hein Stijl. Lambasteien met Zeeuwsche Saus.
Chateau Danzac.
Voorgerechten.
Hoenden Vleugels, met Haagsche Saus.
Heetkoudegemakten Ganzenlevers in Zwolsche Stijl.
Ruinart, wrang wijn, Bijzonder Perrier Jouet, Louis Roederer, wrang,
Giesler & Co., G. H. Mumm, buitengewoondroog.
Gro