Caught on the Fly.

Poor cooks make rich undertakers.

Self confidence is the sharpest weapon in life's fierce battles.

It is our own infirmities that lead us to suspect infirmities in our
fellows.

Because it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom may account for
the wives of so many owning all the property.

"When Teddy Squares the Deal."

They tell us that the good old play
We call the game of life,
Is fair no more, and every day
Leads on to more of strife;
The cards are marked, the hands are stuffed,
The players bunco feel,
And graft has all the goodness bluffed
Till Teddy squares the deal!

The gamblers who have won the stakes
By shady ways of wrong
Will find of dough their biggest cakes
And sing another song;
The loaded dice so used of yore,
The marks that help the steal,
Will disappear forever more
When Teddy squares the deal.

Then honest men will have a chance
To play an even game,
And thrift and virtue swift advance
To happiness and fame;
No more will robbers ply their trade,
Nor shout the tin-horn's spiel;
The world will call a spade a spade
When Teddy squares the deal!

He'll slay the "bear", he'll rope the "bull,"
He'll make the brokers stare;
He'll fill the jails with robbers full,
And teach them to beware;
He'll fill the rich man full of pains
And millionaires shall reel,
While poor men prosper in their gains,
When Teddy squares the deal.

I think that life will be worth while
When force and fraud no more
Confederate with smirk and smile
To grab the people's store;
Get in the game! The laws will cease
To help the robbers steal,
And all the land will live in peace
When Teddy squares the deal!

A Date with Joy.

When Sorrow stops and hails you,
Your pleasures to destroy,
Just tell him, "Something ails you!
I've got a date with Joy!"

"The roads are good for travel,--
You'd better go away;
Just hit the flying gravel,
For Joy is here today!"

The Gods and the Man-Child.

I.

The Gods of Life to the Man-Child crept
They whispered low as the Man-Child slept,--
The God of Love and the God of Hate,
And the God of the Glories Three;
And smiles and frowns wove the Man-Child's fate
In a crown that was sad to see!

II.

"C